But the joke went on too damned long and stopped being funny (like many SNL sketches).

It's funny you say that, considering SNL used to be considered ground zero for edgy material. Now it's blander than Jay Leno most of the time.

I want to go out with a glass of champagne in my cold dead hand.

We're not porn stars... anymore.

I try to explain this to people all the time. I am about to graduate college and I have a degree in something that interests me, but does not necessarily thrill me and I wouldn't exactly say I have a passion in it. I have known for a while that I will be the type of person who lands a job that doesn't entirely suck,…

I had a conversation recently when a friend emotionally told me that he wants me to find my dream job and be successful because I deserve it. I told him I just want to find a job that doesn't crush my confidence, self-belief and destroy me physically (as my last "dream job") did. I also told him it's ok to do…

"You want a ticket that represents men and women."

I am pretty much exactly you, only my water takes forever to get hot, so sometimes it's lukewarm water and soap and a lot of scrubbing if I'm washing it in the middle of cooking. At the end, everything gets hot water.