There should be a special state law that says if you make a delivery guy deliver without tipping him in the middle of a storm, he should legally be able to throw you down the stairs. The higher up you live, the more steps he gets to use.

seriously. when did hazing become such a bizarre rite of passage? i played division 1 football and have never seen anything even remotely close to some of these stories.

Marie Sharp’s is better than Cholula.

I....I LIKE sriracha. Why is there always a backlash against innocent tasty products that only want to make your taste buds happy and never asked for frenzied internet fame? (See also: bacon, avocados, both of which are also delicious AND taste good with sriracha.)

probably STDS (Sudden Teen Death Syndrome).

People who put Sriracha on Mexican food are the worst.

Same. I love them, and I am shocked at how their personal beliefs are shaking my affection for them. I don’t want to hear shit about homeopathy, you privileged morons, but my longlasting affection is being tested!

Vaccines are not Big Pharma at all. I could not be friends with people this stupid.

You deserve better friends.

amen

Have you actually looked at the proposal and the tax rates? Most people would be saving money. I’ve had no trouble selling people on Medicare-for-All, even with people who seemed hostile at first.

Having debates on weekends is serious weak-sauce Hil. You're not fooling anyone and it makes the Dems seem as if they're hiding.

Understandable...I keep calling his daughter Noxycontin

It’s not food, but a bottle a fish emulsion fertilizer cracked open in my trunk. Is the correct cleaning solution to light it on fire and push it into the river?

Boyz 2 Men has to be the winner.

Please, go “live with them” somewhere far, far away and leave my country to the grownups.

Can I hire you to narrate some of my student’s essays? Because this is great.

The only thing I adore about the sentient pestilent festering Cheez-it barnacle that is Donald Trump is his speech style, where he’s clearly just letting his mouth run first before his brain can catch up. I mean, breaking down this response, his ongoing thought processes are just so obviously on the surface:

Yesterday I stumbled upon the fact that Martin Shkreli and Lin Manuel Miranda attended the same high school at the same time.

dropping sick beats like he drops sick customers