It’s cause people like to get sassy and demonstrate that their default approach to interpersonal communications is to presume an antagonistic relationship. This would have made an A+ minions jpeg

More stars for Mister McGiblets please!

High five, C.A. Pinkham! This is your time to shine. Although I gotta admit, I had always thought you were a woman.

I’ve been all about dingus lately.

So does California though, tbrrwu.

Fuck off back to dear old blighty with that rhyming slang. This ain’t a Guy Ritchie film.

Because no one but Gawker writers know who the hell she is!

It’s like 500 Days of Rita in here.

oh-wee-oh-wee-oh

Sexy playlist, what have you done?

French-vanilla, butter-pecan, chocolate-deluxe
Even caramel sundaes is gettin’ touched

Been reading too much Gawker and Jordan Sargent lately and misread this as

Shouldn’t be able to call a damn thing High Life when it won’t even get you high.

Blake is the aural equivalent of Trucknutz.

I’ve never understood “colorways”.

This is how to apologize. People don’t get that right. She REALLY gets that right.

If you’re going to film something crazy, you really need to COMMIT to it.

Got my son the vaccine last year as well (same age). It was a no-brainer for my wife and me, but when I called the doctor’s office to schedule the appointment, the receptionist took a kind of hushed tone: “oh, did you know that that’s for...?” And I’m like “jesus fuck, lady, do you need me to google image search it…

Ciao...

What? No! It would be the best!