I would so much prefer seeing people run around dressed in Lisa Frank.

I thought real Mormons drink Tang.

Stop trying to make Rita Ora happen.

REALLY high. She’s one of the best olds.

Background singers all like a couple of alternate universe Private Pyles who never enlisted and got jobs as delivery drivers instead.

Maybe it was this place.

My wife is from Baltimore and says “Reesie Cups”, but I’m from 20 minutes outside the city and pronounce it correctly.

It’s like a Rainbow Party for your eyes!

Kinda a tease to drop slang like that on Jalopnik. Maybe it’d be better on Sploid, idk.

Makes up for her use of “pissbaby”. *shudder*

If they wanted us to throw our own trash out, they’d make the popcorn big enough to last until the end of the movie, instead of just shoving the empty container under the seat after the first act.

Sharks don’t swim in the kitchen/Beans don’t burn on the grill

The most helpful thing I’ve learned from this is that his podcasts have started up again after a 6-month hiatus.

Voodoo White Pathology (Slight Return)

all like, “here let me pour you a cool drink to help you relax.”

Fudgepacking for Mars?

fuck most countries besides the US.

Red is a total whore color - come on!