...and the desk clerk at a MARRIOTT should know better.

Since I’ve left NYC and moved to the South, I can’t get over how quickly people are to both tell you their business as well as other people’s. I think there’s an assumption that people mean no harm that I’m still getting use to.

A cool tip for you: if you want your kid to be blessed with fantastic court vision, name it Isaiah.

This could have been much worse, given the number of Madison students who exercise their Second Amendment rights.

This will not happen. Showing my child something from Bleacher Report is the type of evidence my ex-wife needs to regain custody.

The point in my life where I feel so old I have absolutely no idea who this is someone change my bedpan please.

Damn.

Tell him to let Matt Damon know he sucks.

I doubt we get anybody. Jim can’t sell water to a lake.

A half-bicycle is just one cycle, dude.

#FingerOutTheBallJointAssBitch

However, we non Lakers fan are truly in heaven right now. Jim, keep doing what you’re doing.

Yes, we Laker fans are truly in hell right now. Jeanie, please blow this the fuck up now.

Starting now I am banning anybody that mentions traveling.

Yeah, there's something Shady about all this

It’s a tense time, but I predict that five years from now, whatever he’s been through will have made Future perfect.

Fuck, that’s a good point.

I dunno. Sandusky looked like a fan of cuddling.

“Coaches come and go.”

what, the Cheddar Bey Biscuits?