Excuse me, don't you know that all those pagan religions were started by time-traveling demons in order to discredit Christianity?

Dear Fancy: I am much too cool and special to buy gifts off the registry like a normal person. How do I demonstrate to the newlyweds/new parents how much better I am than all their other friends without completely pissing them off?

I didn't study African geography, and I couldn't point out Nigeria on a map. But I still know that Nigeria and Zimbabwe are different countries.

Edit: Never mind.

He doxxed her on the domain name? Classy.

Meanwhile the baby is doing her own thing because both her parents are too busy paying attention to the camera.

Careful you don't bring a knife to a gunfight.

Depends on how she said it. But if you're still thinking about it, it was probably shade.

Reading is straightforward: you see a flaw, something the enemy is trying to hide or is insecure about, and point it out. Shade is subtle: you see the same flaw, and point it out without pointing it out. You can't shade if you can't read.

Somebody buy Anna Kendrick a refrigerator.

It's not a pandemic. It's barely an epidemic. Fewer than 10,000 people have been infected, and virtually all of them have been in one geographic area.

I've had to void hundreds of dollars in checks

17 and an incredibly dope MC, and just like, "oh, by the way I know I released two R&B mixtapes already but I can also rap circles around you."

Why wait?

It's a PUA thing. Asking for email is supposed to be less threatening than asking for a phone number, so it gives you a better chance of tricking a woman into having sex with you. Or something.

On behalf of all vegans:

Approximately half the population of Los Angeles fits that description. Go out on Hollywood Boulevard any time before midnight and I guarantee you won't go more than a minute without seeing an Om tattoo.

People will adore them no matter what they do, so why bother?

It mystifies me that so many people who are not decent enough to treat servers well are also not smart enough to treat servers well. Anyone with a basic sense of self-preservation should know better than to fuck with the person who brings them their food.

When I saw BSB this past...Spring? I think it was?...every single person there had this enormous grin on their face like it was the best thing that ever happened to them in their lives. I'd imagine Nick & Knight is more that kind of vibe.