Prince was the best halftime show ever.

Do these people also wear all white, chain smoke and never speak?

That's the point, though, right? It was so agressively awkward and unfunny that it became funny?

Salinger deserves better.

"(Note for the writers of 2026's Garden State reboot: Missed opportunity to have him work at a MALAISE-ian restaurant, imo. Be the change.)"

And Coach Calipari replied: "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints is when I bailed on your program to avoid NCAA sanctions."

And I asked God, "Why, during the most difficult times of my life, were there two sets of footprints and one set of knuckleprints in the sand?"

I'd like to imagine the stool's response would be "Go to hell, man. Don't fuck this up for me!"

You should see the way she sits on my face.

How Carolina and Jacksonville got an expansion team over Baltimore is a mystery to me.

Agreed.

This past season was one of the all time worst for the franchise, but luckily, Arthur Blank is familiar with fighting lows

I was expecting "Not the face!"

My first trip to Indiana was to write up some auto auction in Auburn, Indiana, and the host family drove me around town and was most proud to show me, without irony, the "bunghole factory."

I'm a fan of the Cardinals, the Colts, and the Pacers.

If you live in Southern Indiana, shouldn't you be offering to blow him for some more Oxycontin?

DickSlaps may be the most generous moniker applicable to your sorry ass.