I am actually going to piss myself, this is so amazing!

he is an ass anyway - Sick or not 12am is not the time to start playing drums.

The drums really are THE worst!!

I nearly... NEARLY... lived at this complex. I was living close by at the Ballpark and this looked like the coolest place ever. I'm so glad I didn't move in.

I'm sorry for your suffering but this is now officially my favorite story of all time.

Woof. Lived in Santa Cruz, CA for almost a decade. Beautiful, but same uh, self-righteously adolescent vibe/white people with dreads thing going on. Ugh. Couldn't do Austin, thanks for helping me cross that off the list.

this story is 100% what I always imagined living at Metropolis was like.

You are the picture of grace and mercy. Sleep deprivation plus flu? You should have brained him with his own bong.

Hey! I lived there too and walked over in a strep throat delirium to my neighbor's door when he was playing bass for three hours at 2 in the morning.

This story was the BEST! It brought me to happy, teary, belly laughs. The image of

I laughed so hard at this "OK DUDE I'm SO SORRY." You're a hero my friend.

Oh my god this is the most Metropolis story I've ever heard :,D

Your writing is excellent. I was there! I've known people like "Pan" and you described how it feels to deal with them perfectly.

every time I have ever had a noisy neighbor situation I have fantasized about doing just that. But I am terrified of confrontations and conflict so instead I lie in bed with a pillow over my head and seethe silently to myself. (Granted nothing I've encountered has been as awful as midnight drumming...)

oh i am so sorry you wentthrough that :/ some of my friends lived there for a while, and let's just say that my facebook feed was...eventful for that time period.

nah, don't let the Metropolis scare you off. It's a shitty shitty apartment in a shitty side of town, but there are other alternatives. I miss Austin.

I know that place! I toured there when searching for a new apartment. I was put off by their over the top lying about the square footage. They said it was something like near 600 square feet, but from the looks of it barely over 300. I've also heard from others who had lived there that the management doesn't enforce…

My best friend has a bunny nightshirt that used to belong to her sister who is 8 years older. That thing looked like it had been through war by the time we were in high school. If I ever see her wear it (we're in our late 20s) I know shit just got. real.

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

My first semester of law school, final exams. I was so stressed, I wasn't eating. In fact, I weighed less then than I had since middle school.