Oh, the tragedies of having big calves! I have what I think are perfectly ordinary-looking, proportional-to-my-body calves; the boot manufacturers of this world, however, have decided I have monstrous Hulk-legs below the knee, and it is almost impossible to find things that fit. The one time I tried to buy Hunters, I…

I live in Bangor, Maine, hometown and stomping grounds of Stephen King. Pretty much everyone in town has a “I saw him at the grocery store” story.

Ooh! I finally get to share!

I was at a Q&A that he was doing with Jay last year (it was a podcast) and a young very sweet, seemingly quite vulnerable man stood up to ask a question, and ended up just asking for a hug.

I always figured if I won the lottery I would randomly tip servers a couple hundred bucks. I feel like people shit all over them and a reminder that all customers aren’t entitled jerks goes a long way. I'm glad Kevin Smith is a good guy; I always assumed he would be.

Let’s all make a promise that when/if we become famous, we will all be Kevin Smith Famous.

I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

Well they don’t have a ton of brands, and the color swatches are ridiculously bad, and a lot of their stuff is at the drugstore or Ulta or Sephora...

I’m not bragging (YES I AM) but not more than a month ago I was eating at NOBU and noshing on honor bar M&M’s. The red carpet was only in my mind. #Celeblife #Vacation #AintNoHumbleinmyBrag.

That’s what I just did with Beauty.com’s 20% off. “Well these Lipstick Queen trios are ALREADY a deal, AND now they’re on sale, sooooo... one for X, one for Y, and one for me. I mean, the ones for me are basically free.” So yeah, I got two new lipsticks in the mail today — Central Park from the Liptropolis set (which…

It was 70 in Michigan yesterday.

VIB is 13-16, according to my mailer. USA.

“There I was, enjoying a light repast at the Applebuddies club, engaging in a fine and stimulating discussion of Amanda McKittrick Ros’s brilliant use of simile and metaphor, when suddenly what should assault my ears but some jenny foreigner defiling the rarefied air of our great nation with her native tongue! Well I…

Come on now, Blen. I’m all for you two banging it out in the sheets but please don’t bring instruments or the rest of us into it.

Yesssssssssssssssssss I’m so happy someone else remembers the brain chant!

They incorpo-really can’t quit each other

He’s trying to wait but in the meantime he and titanic ghost Leo dicaprio are doing some pretty heavy experimenting together.

WTF? Devon Sawa is not married, what are you talking about? He turned back into a ghost and he’s waiting for me in heaven.

I’m not sure if I’ll even be able to hear the comments section over the sound of our collective Delightful Irony Boner. There has to be a German word for that, right? By God, I hope there is.