I actually disagree, it’s a tan on white 80's Ferrari convertible. There is bound to be at least $30k of cocaine hidden in the trim somewhere on this car! Then it’s basically just a free Ferrari!

At least it’s not a Saturn with a crappy body kit...

Because in a story about classless trash it's important to note their hero was also classless trash.

Well, they won’t be for much longer, one way or another.

The only way to beat an 0-16 season is to go 0-16 in a second season. It’s tough considering they’ll play the Bears four times over that stretch, but if there’s a team capable of pulling it off, it’s the Lions.

not the kind of article about destructive Jets I expected to see today, but cool nevertheless

Damn, I miss my mom. Doesn’t matter how old you get- in every man there is a little boy that needs his mother.

Way to go the extra mile for that joke.

“Krispy Kreme? Naw, I want duct tape. Cash them in for duct tape. You can use that for anything. A lot more useful than food. I use duct tape all the time, especially when I exercise,”

Goddamn.

I’ve been to white church a handful of times in my life.

They banned him?  I think if you get thrown out of a gym you got barred.

Don’t worry, he’s already on a three-stage recovery plan where the results of the first two stages won’t really matter, but if there’s trouble near the end of the third stage they’ll extend it a little bit each time until he has a clean finish, unless he relapses three times at which point they’ll just end it.

Your Mazda 5 will not cost me $10K in maintenance in the next 6 months. 

“Ran when gas pedal pressed.”

You’re comparing a 17 year old Nissan to...a new Silverado?

The 2wd versions of these are popular in SoCal to turn into prerunners.  SoCal= no mud 99.9% of the time, this thing has all the chops it needs to blast down a desert trail at 40.

“Wasn’t this car part of a recall that would be free to get fixed? Too rich for my blood.”

If it had a “Pontiac Vibe” it would look more like this.

“There were weeks of talking before I was able to get my hands on the car. The whole transaction was an ordeal.”