Also, I love how people bitch and moan that people who want medical insurance “should just get a job” and then turn around and complain when trans people who join the military want access to medical care.

And by getting out of the draft, he opened a spot for another 18 or 19 year old kid, without a rich daddy, to go and serve in Vietnam in his place.

Honestly, I actually have zero problem with people who tried to get out of Vietnam because they had some moral objection, either to war in general or Vietnam in particular. I am in the Army now, and I sure as shit wouldn’t have been volunteering to go fight in Vietnam. I have nothing but respect for people like…

Which one is his nickname for his penis, confident or charming?

Wow, what other prophecies do you have for us, Nostradamus?

Dude you’re not some prophet, it was always going to shift to financials, and that doesn’t mean it’s no longer about Russia. Trump’s been in bed with these people financially since American banks stopped lending him money over a decade ago. That shit takes time to unravel, and while Trump may scream about how it’s…

“so—like any petulant toddler—he’s shitting his pants.”

If you want words of reassurance, I can offer you this. Since the Trump administration is so fond of context, I’ll offer a historical one. The encouragement rate is slim, I’m afraid, but this is the best I can offer:

Sweetie, I know it feels like forever but it’s not been that long. Watergate took a long time. The Saturday night massacre was over a year after the break in.... And you’re right, it’ll turn to the financials, RUSSIAN FINANCIALS! HEYYOOOO

Pardons only cover federal charges, NOT state. New York, where a significant amount of this fuckery went down, can still prosecute this crime family, assuming they can find handcuffs small enough to fit his tiny baby hands.

It’s starting to shift because his entanglements with Russia begin with him money laundering for them. And, that’s the thread that will probably unravel everything. You can tell how terrified Trump is of that stuff. And, there’s no way that stuff has no connection to his campaign.

I just picture him typing that nonsense with the darth vader score playing on his bitchin’ boombox on the milk crate next to his cot.

The suit you wore to the inauguration made you look like someone’s crazy old aunt that they only let out of the cellar for graduations and weddings, Kellyanne.

The president is freaking out over the special prosecutor digging into his finances.

Holy fuck do the people who tighten the straps on your jacket before they tuck you in know where you are?

The actual terrible issue here (as a commenter here noted a few days ago) is that he could promise to issue a blanket pardon to everyone involved in the Russia investigation. Which would mean that all and sundry could lie under oath and face no consequences. I find this terrifying. We may never know the truth (any…

“This house will last forever.”

That poor child is old enough to be embarrassed that a) his father is Clay Travis, b) he had head lice, c) his idiot father spread the fact that he had head lice all over the place, just in time for school to start and for him to be the Cootie King.

Which means the kid has probably had them for months

The thing that gets me is he says they AND THE flight attendants discovered the lice. If the lice are so bad that flight attendants are noticing them it’s a really big problem. That implies that the lice are getting all over the damn place.