I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know my cheddar biscuits will be free. And I won't forget the men who died, so I can bitch about automatic gratuity.

For some reason, I read this entire article as if it concerned Britney Spears the first time through. It was very confusing until I looked closer.

Rihanna is just like my cat. Only Rihanna throws money in the air and my cat shows me his butthole for fun.

God, anytime Rihanna does anything I’m like

The right answer to crossword number one is “her.” As in, “her?”

That’s not true though. Selena wasn’t a practicing Jehovah’s Witness. The bullet severed an artery in her shoulder. The doctors gave her blood transfusions in the hospital. Her father requested that they stop, but the doctors didn’t know about his request, so they continued to try to resuscitate her, including more…

"Hello Russell, this is Al Pacino, SHA MOH NAH"

Serf & Turf

The problem is she doesn't accept guys not eating her out. Its not a like or dislike thing, she literally wants to punish the men she dates in the future for the jerks shes dated in the past. She's an ass, and I wouldn't date her

The author of the Vice article just seems very immature: Numerous relationship partners did not meet your requirements, but you continued the relationship every time? She has vowed to never give another person oral forever. Forever is a long time, girl.

RE: Chris Pine. I feel like this is part of the disingenuous and shallow nature of the world we live in.

Motivated enough to consume your own placenta, yet too lazy to make it oneself. I have a hard time picturing the intersection of this particular Venn diagram.

bro cat, meet basic bitch

Ya'll gonna make me lose my mesh.

I didn't watch the clip because I want to be able to fall asleep tonight.

Aww, that little girl is going to be one hell of a surgeon/serial killer one day.

"LOfuckinL" - said everyone under 35 who went to college

It was hard work, but I am so fucking proud that my son (well into his teens) says "May I please have ..." and "Thank you" to every server, counter person, whatever. Even if I'm not there (I've checked).