Also: I'm not good at getting coffee:(

Some constructive criticism, thehunchbackofnotredwayne, since I see you are interested in pursuing a path in sexist trolling: you need to commit (I would suggest you fact-check, too, put that's probably beyond you — Maddie is a staff writer here, just FYI! That is a full-time position, and also a vagina is not…

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Norm, your responses are actually causing me to reconsider my complete loss of faith in Law Enforcement. Thank you for that. Christ almighty I needed it.

Racial profiling in Seattle, as with many other cities, was of the type that I'd label structural or institutional discrimination. While I occasionally had to deal with (that is to say fire) cops who engaged in individual racism, the real problem was tied to disproportionate arrests of street dealers. A real problem,…

Yes. To all. The drug war has cost this country well over a trillion dollars. It's resulted in the incarceration of tens of millions of low-level, nonviolent drug offenders — overwhelmingly young people, poor people, people of color. It's severely damaged the relationship between the police and those communities that…

About the same, I'd say. Policing has been getting increasingly safer (notice I'm not saying safe), and crime has been dropping...even as the institution is becoming more militaristic.

Everybody in this life has his or her personal line that cannot be crossed. I want you to ask yourself what your line is.

Tom, I gotta tell you, I've been to all kinds of places around the world. I've inhaled the pungent body odour of people from Afghanistan to Zambia. I've smelled life's rich, disgusting pageant. But nothing compares to the furtively warm, wet, dead-mouse stink of a dude sitting next to me on the Greyhound bus service…

*pushes glasses up on nose*

I just wanna know if that horse signed a release to appear nude (and tumescent) before they released that ad.

The idea of a cook sneakily concocting something that would force people into eating veggies is so funny. And bonus points for the use of "burger" as a verb.

Actual quote from Mo'ne Davis: "I throw my curveball like Clayton Kershaw and my fastball like Mo'ne Davis."

God, baseball is so boring to me but I am here for this girl! Love everything about this story.

You neglected to mention the funniest parts of Nathaniel M.'s reviews: