All good and stuff, but when are we going to talk about the REAL issue: gingers stealing our jobs, welfare and marrying our women?

The redline is the grossest. I once saw a girl throw up into a paper bag from Giordano’s and have it burst all over the floor. She started to wail, but only because she was devastated the “cubs fucking looooooooost! this is the worst fucking day of my fucking liiiiiiiife”. This was in the middle of December, so no…

In the time it took you to write that post, someone pooped on a subway in NYC and no one reacted.

Say something, risk getting shit thrown at you. Better off be silent and rush for the door at the next stop...

Won’t someone think of the oxygen consumed during this controlled detonation!

Roman Showers for everyone!!!

You forgot someone jacking off. Semen wants in on this party.

One time in college I woke up hungover to go to my internship. Hopping on a crowded D train, I moved towards an open space at the end of the car. Reaching it, a woman grabbed my arm and pointed to a huge pile of vomit that I otherwise would not, in my state, have noticed. I pressed back into the crowd and took in my…

...will be the name of my forthcoming autobiography

The acquisition price seems sane given they are bringing in $1.33 billion in revenue a year. 4* annual profit is not a unusual formula for an acquisition price and I would be surprised if their profit is that much below their revenue. It seems a little much here, given how risky this kind of business is though.

“Hey, where’s the list of loaned out plates? . . . . What do you mean you can’t find it? Ugggghhh, alright, officer, I’ll call you back when we find our paperwork.”

Police report - ‘plates were potentially stolen but that they were not listed as stolen’

Asking what time you close is suspicious? Sounds like this person needs a new line of work in that case. I would imagine a large number of the phone calls they receive are that exact question.

You’re not as clever as you think you are, you pedantic shit. Henson was one of the people outside the door. He’s implicitly included in “them” as it’s stated in the call. That should be obvious to anyone with at least a partially functioning brain.

You got it all wrong, Samer. You start with the most difficult kid to beat up. Not the easiest. Good lord man, I mean is this your first time beating up kids?? Jeez...

“What are you working on now Ahmed?”
“Revenge.”

She was also linked to the magazine’s increasing unpopularity with her new direction.

Dumbest run-on sentence I’ve read this year.

I’m sure Microsoft was really aiming to convert the “still puts a dollar sign in place of the S in Microsoft” demographic too.

I love how tech bloggers live in a little bubble and think Macs are really a choice in the mainstream world. I hate to break it to you, but the world uses Windows computers. Macs are a niche market. The real choice consumers are going to make are between the Surface Book and other Windows laptops.

After Christmas break my freshman year of college, classes started on January 2, a Monday. I made the remarkably bad decision to return to campus on a Greyhound Bus, on January 1 (New Year’s Day) and aggravated the stupidity of that decision by agreeing to celebrate New Year’s Eve with my freshman roommate in his…