You’re looking at it wrong. It was, amazingly, kind of barely a foul when seen in slow motion.

I’m not a Draymond apologist typically, but that call is horseshit. He definitely fouled him, but he was going for the ball (and got a lot of it!) and never made contact with his head.

Also unquartered! Take that, Hugh Despenser the Younger!

Haiku you idiot.

In Lauren’s defense, “undefeated” is usually the more triumphant synonym for a win streak. Problem is you have to account for draws in soccer too. “Undefeated and undrawn” doesn’t exactly have the same effect but I don’t think it was malicious. 

You died on Monday?

This guy being bad does not make her behavior any better, and using this to try and build up Klobuchar is gross.

Saskatchewan Assman would definitely be into “backdoor and a ferocious stuff”

“Excellent finish” Mike Breen

Alexa, order “Backdoor and a Ferocious Stuff.”

Spurs have gone undefeated and undrawn in their past four Premier League games

We need a “Most sane old rich white guys; RANKED” just to see if we could even come up with a list of ten.

Thank you for taking away any and all productivity I had today

Is bad that I kind of want Biden to be President just to have The Onion continue the ‘Diamond’ Joe Biden stories on a much larger scale?

Boban Marjanović: “I was in your mother”

Obama’s simulator didn’t feature a virtual Ben Roethlisberger to walk your mistress back to her hotel room.

It was well used in 70's-80's NJ when I was growing up. It was probably less popular than the one that starts with W and the one that starts with G. My great grandparents were Sicilian, so I'm 1/4 of that. I don't look it through, so heard them all casually used. 

People are confused because he left out the part where the storekeep was wearing a dago tee.

Absolutely. That word was a widely used slur to describe Italian people in Chicago until pretty recently. My (68 year old) mother once told me that when she was a kid, growing up in a largely Irish-Catholic neighborhood in Chicago she thought “Dago-T” was just the proper name for any sleeveless undershirt.