Simple defense...Ramos IS a pussy.

“damn your organs are lookin’ fine, girl”

Like Jesus, he possesses X-Ray vision.

Well, in McDavid’s defense I’d be pretty pissed off if I was an Oiler too.

This sounds like something one of the nerds in Big Bang Theory would say.

His ability to read the room is about on par with his ability to read the coverage.

Not more, just enough to make kids and prove to baby Jesus that you’re not a homo.

If this is the extent of Tim Tebow’s game, he may not be having sex anytime soon.

“Prepare to be internally flawed. Cause I’m gonna wreck it.”

How would Tebow even know? About the guts, not the rock, obviously. 

“...internally flawless,” he said. “Just like you.”

That message was brought to you by DeBeers, who sent a representative hidden in a hay bale to make sure it was delivered correctly.

As Nel-Peters said yes, Tebow slipped a 7.25-carat solitaire ring on her finger. “This ring is internally flawless,” he said. “Just like you.”

“she’s not hurting anyone”

“Every live sporting event has men that get in fights and merely get kicked out of the stadium, but when a woman shows up and mows down 8 people with a AR-15, she gets singled out for prison.”

If she’s annoying other paying customers in the arena, those people have a right to enjoy the game without a sonic attack on their eardrums. It’s disingenuous that the team is telling her to quiet down after there’s been bad publicity about her, but stadium personnel should be MORE sensitive about people who disrupt…

How the fuck did Northwestern let this go on for 3 and a half years?  She shouldn’t have made it more than 3 and a half games before being told to stop because she was ruining the experience for so many others.

“How could you not scream your head off?”

“The Cats are such a fun basketball team to watch. How could you not scream your head off?”

The only problem here is that this is 3 1/2 years overdue.