Bastard.

I’m hopeful that this Breaking Bad spin-off isn’t obsessed with tediously explaining and demystifying every aspect of the original show.

“The screenshot above suggests otherwise.”

It does?

“The Devil’s Rejects was a huge, glaring exception to Zombie’s directoral career.”

Nah, it was a blip. Slightly less shitty than the rest of his shit resume.

“Maybe it’s just me but I don’t see a lot of overlap between typical BBT fans and typical HBO fans.”

Yeah, it’s just you.

“Big Bang Theory? Well NOW I’m going to subscribe to HBO Max!”
-Nobody

“I like how he starts off by talking about the honor of getting hired by SNL, and then immediately undercuts it by saying he preferred MadTV.”

It’s almost like he’s, I don’t know, a comedian making a joke? 

“Except it just was?”

Except the fact that he was hired can’t be taken away.

Do you understand ANYTHING? 

“I know it’s cool t say that MNight had a string of flops but actually the only movie of his that didn’t turn some kind of a profit was After Earth.”

I know it’s cool to pretend you know how much money a movie needs to bring in to make a profit, but The Last Airbender and Lady in the Water also didn’t turn any kind of…

You liked it BECAUSE it was terrible?

K.

“M. Night Shyamalan’s last three films—Glass, Split, and The Visit—were all surprisingly well-received”

The Visit and Split were surprisingly well-received, but Glass sits at 37% on rottentomatoes.

Cool, I guess?

Wait, so the worst member of the cast from The Office (and also the worst member of the cast of everything he’s appeared in, and also maybe the least funny comedic actor around) didn’t save a mediocre movie?

Well, colour me surprised.

“such as a duck fat-basted croissant”

Nobody told me there was duck fat in it! I thought it was just a normal croissant, made with butter or lard. 

“Nah, the whole “what if it was your mom/sister/daughter/wife!” shit sucks. I’m sure it comes from good intentions, but women deserve dignity and autonomy regardless of who they are to the men in their lives.”

Yeah, you’re right. But if someone doesn’t see that it’s wrong, instead of trying to find a way for them to…

“we were unable to confirm whether she was brigaded. Brigading is not an uncommon problem for female streamers”

Thanks for explaining what brigading is. 

“Sometimes you’ve got to blow some dough to disrupt the system.”

When does that story get published?

Boy, this show sounds funny. I can’t fathom why it wasn’t renewed.

“making completely CGI costumes that are 100% photo-realistic has become faster and cheaper than crafting actual clothing.”

“New SNL hire Shane Gillis opts for the ever-crappy “Sorry you’re sorry” approach”