“Maybe... MAYBE. The fault lies in “here’s Darth Vader as a little kid!” and Jake Lloyd having zero charisma.”

I’d suggest it has more to do with a director who had not talent for, or interest in, directing human beings.

Evidence: just about every single actor in the prequel trilogy is better in everything else they’ve…

“We regret to inform you that Jaleel White has resurrected the Urkel”

Ah Gizmodo, where we all love to make fun of Trump’s fat, stupid ass BUT DON’T YOU DARE MAKE FUN OF TRUMP’S FAT ASS!!!!

Well, this guy *did* let Conor punch him...

“First, it’s weird that MGM wasn’t already aware of this other project when it hired Blomkamp, and hadn’t cleared his availability for the shooting schedule.”

That’s only weird if you know nothing about how Hollywood works. 

This new horror/thriller, it’s a 30-years-later remake of I Come in Peace, isn’t it?

“The shows, the movies, lies. All lies. Just..... lies.”

What shows or movies have you watched in which the ex-MMA fighter is anything higher up on the ladder than henchman? 

“This is mentioned as a minor detail, but this alone is next-level creepy.”

Also it’s likely 100% false. 

Hey! He only wears them at night.

“we are long past the time when anyone, particularly a journalist, should be taking any Bulletproof Coffee products seriously.”

And yet here you are, being angry at an article about coffee. 

That was actually hydrofluoric acid.

“Well that sounds like a normal, healthy relationship.”

You expected different? 

“Dish soap will suck the life out of your skin faster than”

You, my friend, should switch to Palmolive. 

“What’s worse than disappointing a customer with bad customer?”

Nothing. At all.

What does that mean? 

“Killing Them Softly is barely a movie.”

Killing Them Softly is a near-perfect movie.

There are literally only two bad things about it: the title, and the line of dialogue from which the title comes. Everything else- perfection. 

“(Second only to their inability to creatively name their secret sex fraternity.)”

“if he was doing right by his writers why would they feel the need to unionize”

If you admit ignorance, why do you feel the need to accuse?

“Either that, or it’s the repeated blows to the head he’s been taking since childhood.”

Whichever it is, at least we can all agree that you get jokes. 

“We should hold our elected officials to higher standards than pop stars.”

We hold EVERYONE to the SAME standards. 

“And even in major (in terms of me remembering it right now) mass shootings in the past decade history, I remember San Bernadino shooters, the Dallas cops shooter, the Washington Naval Yard shooter, the Virginia Tech shooter, the Binghamton shooter, the Pulse shooter...”

Oh, so fucking SIX out of the hundreds were…