gabriellecynique
Gabrielle Cynique
gabriellecynique

I know you’re going to get (and are getting) reamed out for this, but I feel like it’s self-evident that you are in fact correct. People are frequently incurious about themselves, about the staid, the familiar, the routine. But there is an insatiable curiosity for “the other,” the alien, the unknowable, and frequently

How fucking clever: a Hillary pantsuits post. Maybe you can follow that up with a fucking Obama TelePrompTer joke.

I assume someone walked in on him. And I think it’s definitely self-dick sucking, not scat. The description of “both unlikely and physiologically improbable” fits dick-sucking, but it’s not physiologically improbably to eat poop, but gastronomically improbable.

The important thing is: HE TRIED!

I think it’s obviously implied to be sucking his own dick.

That’s not really an apt comparison either. At a store you pay for the goods, not for someone to carry them to the car. When someone drives you, you’re paying them for that service.

I also doubt the White House is furnished with the IKEA Lack shelving unit.

Cue generic Texas big government joke.

I still don’t know what happened. At all. If I could have understood, I think I could have healed faster. But the fact that I just don’t know...ugh. I think it set me back months. Soon enough it will have been a year, and I still think about him every day. I don't want to. But I do. It's a sucky way to dump someone.

I’m Facebookable! I think everyone thinks the “Cynique” is some Francophile version of “cynic.” No, it’s just a fucking weird name.

Thanks, doll. You may have noticed there was an odd six month period where I seemed to vanish for Gawker. Now you know. I’m getting past it.

I've dipped my toe back into the dating pool. And more than dipped a toe into the banging pool. True love eludes me. But she will revisit me again.

A few things got me through: good wine, good friends, good music, and a good dog.

I was ghosted after a 5 year relationship. Five. No infidelity between us. One big blowup every 2 or 3 months. But I genuinely believed we were happy. We traveled together. Cooked together. Read together. Did the NYT crossword together. I have never been so happy with another person in my entire life. I bought a house

She’s gonna lob more softballs in an hour than your average lesbian tosses in an entire lifetime.

I honestly think the 41 presidents who came before Clinton had worse records on gay rights. In that gays had no rights and weren’t even a part of the conversation.

It's been months since I had my bongos licked.

Honestly, go fuck yourself for shit talking a girl who admittedly came from a family and culture where education, manners, and breeding didn't seem to receive any special emphasis. Bristol's godawful mother ran for vice president and lost 6 years ago. Right now, off the top of your head: name another VP loser's

I wish I shared your confidence.

I have to admit that it bothers me that he was blinded in the eye in which he was already losing his sight.