I read my wife the copy for the $800 tree and her exact response was “Does it come decorated with $750 in cash? Because if so, I’ll take it!”

I’m all about my own cereal milk, but there is no way I’m about to drink another person’s cereal milk, I don’t care if they are my wasteful five year old. Either she drinks her cereal milk or she gets a lecture.

AHAHAHA!!! Oh man, that’s something that would happen to me, and I’m glad it didn’t.

HFS... Just.. WOW! That movie would never have seen the light of day if they didn’t change the ending.

Within one week of living at our house our dog, a corgi-sheppard mix, tracked down and killed a bunny and mother that had made a home in our lawn. And you had better believe our little killer got a treat for her efforts. She’s a dog, she wants to kill annoying rodents, and I want her to kill them or to help me kill…

Former church maintenance man here. Glitter is from the devil. If the children’s program used glitter for one craft it took about six months to get it all cleaned up, or so I assumed because they just kept using it so I never really got it all cleaned up.

She also say “like, I mean” more than once, which is absolutely horrid.

Wait, a central vaccum is a thing?! How have I never heard of this?!

My room in the barracks at Ft Bragg had a “climate control” knob/switch on the wall (these barracks were built during the Korean War and were torn down after I got out in 2004). The three years I lived in that room we used a pair of lockjaw pliers to turn the knob. I’m sure a new knob would’ve been ~$2, but the pliers…

Yeah, I'm seeing Newt and John Elway.

I’m all about your artichoke take, but your eggplant, zucchini, and celery takes are dead wrong.

You’re right. Filet mignon IS the worst cut of steak. It’s good for tartare and that’s about it.