Man, it sure would be nice if you could buy direct from the factory at that factory pricing, rather than having to negotiate a higher price from a middle man who really ends up doing nothing for you other than trying to sell you rust proofing and paint protection packages.

“Also, if Steam Guard was enabled, the account was protected from unauthorized logins even if the password was modified.”

So, he too must be dumb, younger, obedient agreeable (“yes dear”), bring home the bacon despite his below average education, must be in good health (read: fit, preferable with rock hard abs and wasboard stomach) and a non smoker.

Learning that other cultures use the bathroom in vastly different ways was a shock.

I always think that is Sean Penn

On top of all this greatness is the fact that the story is a riff on the Odeyessy, complete with Sirens and everything.

The salt is strong with this one.

Tommy Craggs took Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner...and he DID call her back again. Happy trails, Mr. Craggs.

You just know there’s some dumb motherfucker who’s going to claim that story—and me for printing it—is somehow “anti-Chinese.” That story is exactly the same down to each word—only the food changes—no matter what type of restaurant it was, and as far as I’m concerned, no type of restaurant is more or less likely to do…

Gaslight him? HE actually threw up in the street and owes YOU a huge apology.

There is a special place in hell for people who order delivery during snowstorms. And in that hell, crab rangoon will always be Three. Blocks. Away.

Quitting after 8 minutes means he isn’t playing with enough heart.

Am I the only one who swears they recognize this dance from somewhere?? This is going to destroy the rest of my afternoon with Google searches.

My guess is that wearing the raccoon outfits probably helped you avoid detection. That’s smart Momming!

My dad recently came to visit me in New York. He’s not in the best shape so we took lots of cabs. Literally every single time we got in a cab my dad would chuckle softly to himself, lean forward getting right up to the cab driver’s ear and say, “Is this the [long pause] cash cab?!?” [Laughs way too loudly]. The cab…

To really catch up with the rest of us who learned as kids, you have to attach a playing card to the frame so the spokes flick it and it sounds like a motorcycle. Just for a week or so. Only then will you be accepted as a true equal.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if NFL broadcasts allowed callers like your local talk show? Jerry from Arbutus could call in during challenges, between possessions, and after big plays to weigh in and give his hot takes. It will never happen, of course, but god that would be awesome.

The Japanese approach to bathing is the way forward. Wash first, then soak in clean water in a deep tub (about 1.5 feet deep). Mixing soap with bath water is amateur hour.

give me the frank reynolds!