The second I read those three sentences, I thought “Okay, that’s why everyone loves Monty Williams so much.” The kind of person who can say something like that, in that situation, is the kind of person who is going to be loved by a lot of people.

The Yankees would much rather have those unwanted seats remain empty, so as to prevent the rich folk from having to mix with dirty poors.

Win won.

Usually Lincoln’s the progressive and Jefferson’s the racist...

Hello/It’s me/I was wondering if you’d like a flashlight so you could finally see/All these black men

You should see their Black History Month pizza. It’s cut into five slices, but they only put three in the box.

Everyone is doing a bang up job pointing out the hilarity of this response, but nearly all of these replies fail to point out that even a sexist producer should notice that Colleen Dominguez, whether 34 or 54, is still fine as hell.

I tell you what I’ve had it with these spoiled athletes. He just shows up and gets to be a photographer for the Super Bowl because he wants to! But, God forbid when I show up and take pictures it’s “who is he?”, “who let him in the dressing room?”, and “someone call the police.”

LOLOLOL. Did you really just say ‘Otherwise you have no moral authority’ when talking about the NFL?

Male High School is the school Area Man’s son attends.

Yes, but what time does “What time does ‘What time does the Super Bowl start’ start” start?

“The Good Wife” too, particularly the Democratic Caucus. I don’t know much about that show, I just know her husband was running for President and had some sort of race through all the counties eating some sort of sandwich before the Caucus began.

Megatron, asked why he was retiring, responded, “I just don’t like the direction Michael Bay is taking with the franchise.”

Always highlight truthers.

I wonder if he’s aware of the fact that there’s this powder they keep on the sidelines that helps you grip the ball when your hands get sweaty.

I’m just going to take this opportunity to post what might be the best block I’ve ever seen live:

Wu Ke mistake.

Look, when you use a musical theater reference as a metaphor for rival groups of gays, the jokes write themselves.