“Awake, awake, Zion, clothe yourself with strength! Put on your garments of splendor, Jerusalem, the holy city. And maybe, like, an ankle brace or something, ‘cause damn that don’t look good.”

This is fantastic. Thank you. I needed a good laugh.

He was already a dead man walking, the doofus whose failures alienated the best player the franchise and its tiny fanbase ever had and who would not meaningfully outlast Davis in New Orleans under any plausible set of circumstances.

“I mean, if he wants to audition that’s fine, but let’s not get carried away here.”

- Sharon Jones, reading headline

I still need to know where getting hit by a car fits into this dichotomy. Is that... a tie?

thank you! I didn’t realize Kinja allowed for multiple story tags. 

[dupe]

I like your style here, but you need a few revisions. I believe what you meant to ask was:

This should be filed under: Death to the NCAA

Hear hear! Trail Blazers fan here and I have every right to hate the Spurs but by God I simply cannot. Their sustained excellence combined with Timmy’s dry wit and Pop suffering no fools... I will always cheer for them when they’re not playing my team, and if/when they beat us I will simply tip my hat and move on.

Ray Ratto?? What are you doing slumming on a site like this? You should be somewhere sipping mai tais and yelling at clouds.

(Nice piece, though. I agree... I’m all hated out on the Pats. The NFL as a whole is mostly irrelevant to me.)

Forgive my golf ignorance but how is it advantageous to the golfer to have his or her caddy stand behind the player in an extension of the line of play? Does them standing there somehow help the golfer hit the ball more accurately?

Swing low... sweet Corey’s foot... givin’ up a bonus freethrowwwww...

Good Lord this deserves so many more stars.

Somehow I’m sure I’ll find a way not to root for him.

I remember this story! It cracked me up at the time because I barely knew who Michael Redd was, and I was a huge basketball fan.

Michael Redd is definitely a Guy to be remembered.

Jim Jackson... remember when he and Jamal Mashburn and Jason Kidd were supposed to be Mavs Big 3?! Ahhhh... good times.

Point is, the Rockets aren’t crazy to think they can get by without House, even if that kind of sucks and diminishes what he’s contributed to their wacky season.

When Ricky Rubio was asked if Joe Ingles talks trash during Utah practices, he shrugged.

How this story didn’t include the phrases “horror” and “Boylen green,” I’ll never know.