He gave up after four whacks?! I guess masturbation really has lost its fun.

Magistrate (wearing black robe): “where are your taxes, young man?” 

Neither of these are licorice, no matter who makes them. Please delete all references to licorice in the article and considering following up with an article about one of the best candies known to humankind.  Dutch licorice in particular.

She used to be played by Krysten Ritter , but the recasting with Kristen Schaal is working quite well for her..

I have literally never heard anyone or anything say okurrr

We’ll know her heart’s no longer in it when she heats up a skillet of plastic soldiers, pours a milkshake over her head, and calls it a night.

It may not be too late to open a real life Bum Boat.

Also, every group meal takes six to ten days to finish.

I can’t bring myself to watch it anymore. I loved it from beginning to the first half of the finale.

THEN THEY BROKE BARNEY AND ROBIN UP AFTER SPENDING AN ENTIRE SEASON ON THEM GETTING MARRIED. MURDERED THE MOTHER. GAVE LILY THE MOST DEPRESSING LIFE POSSIBLE. AND WENT BACK TO TED/ROBIN, WHICH THEY HAD TIED UP BEFORE…

A Talking Cat?! or GTFO! 

That’s so odd. Here’s my translation from English to Japanese to English:“I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung.”

Today is a day Nanette soon won’t forget.

This thing where there is a bracket and then you’re just arbitrarily and single-handedly picking winners is really not how this whole system is supposed to go.

The single best egg prep, and it doesn’t even make your top 8??

Since it’s paired with Broad City on CC, I’m going to use this space to say its a damn shame AV Club is not covering The Other Two

Yeah I’ll disagree.

A photo of the perpetrator:

The idea that de-cluttering their desks meant discarding excess personal items (rather than just, you know, taking them home) annoyed me as a very SITCOM! kind of contrivance, though the performances there were good; I particularly liked Terry’s exasperation that nobody gets the nice suspenders. Still really enjoyed…

Everyone knows HP Lovecraft was racist. I think you can stop making that the focus of every single fucking article about anything tangentially related to him or his writing.

Love her but yeah, the last description I’d ever use for her is folk rock.

I once saw someone try to argue that they don’t like her because she sounds like Sheryl Crowe. My brain is steel bleeding from that one.