My cat loves the shit out of me but I’m pretty sure it’s just super aggressive Stockholm Syndrome working in my favor. C’est la guerre, yo.

*Kerokerokeroppi, thankyouverymuch.

You are owning this thread.

Why do I have a funny feeling the same journos irritated by a child at a press conference have also muttered something about how the Black community needs more positive fatherly role models and has asked a professional female athlete how she balances work and motherhood and where is her kid right now.

There’s a whole lotta film theory about the utility of the cum shot, and basically it comes down to it functioning much in the same way an iris out or pinhole zoom did in old silent films: it just lets you know in a very visible way that it’s the end. Yanno, like this:

Periods in white pants! Ripping loud farts in front of your crush!

Yea, for reals. The audible groan and disgusted head-shake I got from the CVS pharmacist the day I bought Plan B def made the last time boo and I went into a corner store to buy condoms and coffee beans (for tomorrow morning, son! *high five*) easy peasy.

See, if I saw you I would think “get drunk and TP an ex’s house”.

What is with the “birthday week”??? I understand that as we get older our friends have more commitments and we sometimes have to extend get-togethers to the weekend, but this idea that we are supposed to insulate people from any bad news the whole week surrounding their day of birth boggles my mind.

Oh, me too. I don’t want my ex back — he insists otherwise, despite/because of my having tried to put as much distance between us as is possible when we work together — I just don’t think he deserves to be happy. He treated me like garbage when we dated, treated me like garbage when we attempted friendship, and now…

This week I’m working on similar artists — basically lists of musicians similar to other musicians, because algorithms still suck at this — to export to online streaming companies.

The standard for workplace gender discrimination lawsuits isn’t that men get promoted only over other women. There is precedent all the way up at the federal level that discrimination exists when the culture only fosters the development of, and rewards, people who are “male enough”. It was set, IIRC, by queer men who…

I work with a festering pile of man-shaped garbage who keeps moving up the corporate ladder despite the fact everyone hates him and he’s the documented reason DOZENS of highly-coveted employees have fled our company to work for rivals. I would love to show up at Pao’s future court date dragging that assclown behind me…

Part of my job is cranking out curated lists of similar musicians to sell to internet streaming services, because algorithms can’t be trusted to do it themselves — and part of me doin my part is never including Bronson in any of these lists. He’s a little island unto himself. Let him think about what he's done. >:-)

I mean I don’t really pretend to be someone else I just don’t always correct strangers when they call me Tara or Cara or Sierra or Lauren (?) or Heather (???). :-/

The history of dance pop in one very very short gif.

Well sure! It’s like folks who smoke weed or drop acid and have their minds blown trying to imagine infinity or death or how convenient it is that we breathe out carbon dioxide and breathe in oxygen while plants breathe in carbon dioxide and breathe out oxygen — essentially, realize we’re tiny and insignificant and…

Best of luck with that. We’re rooting for you. We’re all rooting for you.

BUT HAVE YOU TRIED HARD ENOUGH

WAHHHHHHH
Kill yourself.