Anecdote accepted. Snappy comeback, not found.

Is the space pope reptilian?

So, every religion is wrong?!

What day is today?
It's Nibbler's birthday!
What a day for a birthday,
let's all have some cake.

it is true old people are often concerned that there are children on their lawn

Sir, you forgot your hat!

Anecdote accepted. Snappy comeback: Not found.

It's ocean madness all right. The sailors call it 'aqua dementia,' the deep down crazies, the wet willies, the great moist.

You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!

All right, let's mafia things up. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.

Bunk! Bunk I say! Bring me a bag full of Bigfoot's droppings or shut up!

The cruel meatball of war has rolled onto our laps and ruined our white pants of peace!

Shut up and put on four episodes of the office.

[Wong family] owns entire Western Hemisphere. That's the best hemisphere!

I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine!

Also, wolfman.

Mr. Chunks, the puke-me-poop-yu: [vomits, craps]
Leela: ugh, it's putrid! What do you feed him?
Bender: What comes out one end we feed to the other. Also Indian food. Let the contest begin!

I came here from a faraway planet. A planet ruled by a chauvinistic Manputer that was really a Manbot. Have you any idea how it feels to be a Fembot living in a Manbot's Manputer's world?

My friend Richie swore he wasn't taking drugs, and then he sold me my mom's VCR. Then, later, I found out he was taking drugs.

I always dreamed of being a musician-poet who transcends genres even as he re-invents them