I only accept payment in Amazin’Fruit gummy bears

Andy Bernard doesn’t lose contests

THANK YOU, YES. And thank you also for the lovely circumflex. It’s an honor to be in the same comment stream with you.

I’m sorry but her face looks like a Bratz doll and it’s very upsetting. I have sympathy for her, having to grow up and face those awkward tween years on camera against her will. But she keeps choosing to be on television and have work done to her face.

Let her get a job at Super King as a cashier. Then I’ll believe it.

She is, indeed, a monster.

“...getting wind of...”

The original guy wasn’t one of the 15 people who got misogynistic because of my answer. I assumed he was asking in honesty and I gave him an answer. It’s the other dudes who acted crazy about it.

It needn’t, but it’s only another way of communicating. That’s like asking, “Why would talking about their marriage play a part in anything?”

Pressly has her moments, but something about the way Faris can portray the exact sound of the wind between her ears is friggin magical to me. It takes true intelligence to act so blessedly stupid and I want to meet her. And maybe pet her head.

Dude. Seriously. Are you 12?

“Never ok” is awfully definitive. It takes just one counterexample to disprove it, unless you believe that it is “never ok” on principle.

I can’t think of a non-fetishy way for a man to fill in the blank on an “I love __physical characteristic__ women” pick up line.

This. I’m fat and guys who try to tell me how attracted they are to my body type come off as creepy. I obviously want a guy to be attracted to me but I don’t want it to be the only thing that attracts him.

He’s definitely a ladies man. And he definitely has no time to talk.

At minimum, they were tailored by someone who hasn’t left their house since 1974.

Well shucks, aren’t we just a couple members of a mutual admiration society now?

Upon rereading my first comment I feel inclined to note that I was trying to make a google home page reference (HILARE, RIGHT?) and it came off a little rude, sorry man— I had this movie creepily memorized as a kid and I’m certain some lines will be burned into my brain until the day I die

Please, don’t tell me you were there...

Cry-masturbating?!?!