If you’re really a masochist, you’ll enjoy hearing that you’re doing it wrong, you little worm! It works within the bounds of narcissistic tendencies. Now lick my boot, worm!

But they’re all the same color, so they all match, so he doesn’t have to think about it at all!

His face, his spongiform flesh, the boiled-red texture of his skin, and his ridiculous rubber expressions ALL remind me of Plympton! All the time! He always seems to be on the verge of swallowing his own face and turning inside-out, only to extrude himself right-side-out through his own ear a second later.

Yessss! It doesn’t seem any different to me than mass emailing every one on your contacts list. In which case, why don’t you just do that? It would solve all the problems I always hear about from people who say they love Facebook: the changing privacy settings, the mean people, getting flooded with updates you don’t…

But it can buy a couple of escorts to piss all over your bed.

You forgot looking up every Alton Brown recipe ever.

I loved my nokia. My first phone, I remember it as fondly as my first car.

This is why I’m baffled when my friends say shit like “I mean, how do I teach values outside of Christian norms,” as if they short-change their kids by raising them without religion. I’m an atheist, but I don’t go around committing crime because I don’t believe in heaven.

Am I the only one seeing a Ninja/Knight helmet wearing person?

Yeah, because TF2 only had 1,259 free updates since its release, the guys at Valve are thieves!

its fucking amazing how many biblical metaphors are full of so much nonsense

I wonder what they would have said if you’d replied, “Oh, I still have a flip phone”...

Siltbreaker

I don’t get it. They have been talking about it for years. Why vote for them if they disagree?

We are generally sacred cows, but who the hell know at this point.

Oh FFS, to save 25 mill. How many trips to mar-a-largo is that? Luckily for me it won’t hurt my VA for now because it is most definitely utilized.

Hear hear! I realized not long after the election the only army friends I have on Facebook are black, Latinx, or women.

To be fair, some people will continue to explain away their partner’s behaviour because they don’t want to be in an uncomfortable situation. By the time you start writing to advice columnists asking if you’re the one in the wrong, the truth needs to be told. The letter writer doesn’t deserve this treatment from his…

Ugh, what trash. They will get there in 2018 if I have anything to do with it. Just literal human garbage, they put party before country. I honestly hate them. I’m 26 so it feels a little sill to hate someone with this kind of passion, but damn if i don’t just hate those fuckers.

This was a “special” bill, so I’m not necessarily calling you a liar, but there are tunnels under the capitol that house members use to walk back to their offices. Maybe they wanted to walk outside to celebrate or something today, but it’s very odd to see members coming out of the building.