Hehehe, you’re fucking swell Chocolate.

Fuck!!! I know how grumpy you get without your usual breakfast of aborted fetuses Chocolate.

Thing is, I was endeavoring to be amicable. I’m not super partial to killing critters but he shows up again I’m gonna kill him and eat him. Bear meat is pretty tasty.

Touché

Golly Bey has such a nice shapely b..*ahem*.. braid, such a nice shapely braid.

My wife travels a lot around this time of year, so whenever I’m home my dogs just follow me around like lost...well puppies. I go to the bathroom and my bulldog will plant her ass right on the door and start blasting farts so when I’m on the can I’ll get gassed by these awful dog farts. I open the door sometimes and…

I had a black bear try to break into my curing shed about a month ago. Chased it off with a couple road flares, you leave my sweet delicious bacon alone!

If ever there was a reason to switch to contacts.

Badass move to keep calmly showering. I’d be of the ‘KILL IT WITH FIRE’ mindset.

Seriously so much repressed bullshit I’m surprised they don’t get sucked up their own assholes and form some sort of ambulatory black hole of human misery.

I’m kind of hung up on the bill banning consumption of aborted human fetuses.

Hehe, shit I think Kurt would appreciate it regardless Ed. When my wife was at Kelley I got permission to peruse his early stuff at his library from a borderline harassment email campaign (I was not prepared to give up) and it was fucking amazing.

Aww shit Pam a good Mexican rice, not many joints get it right but when they do it really fucking does it for me. This person must’ve really been straight out of Assholeville to make you bail.

Was absolutely a Vonnegut reference! Although I believe in the actual quote it’s oleomargarine.

Sometimes opposites complement one another, other times it’s mutually assured destruction. Try and figure out which it will be before proceeding.

Always makes me think of Ben crying in that Batman costume.

Golly Pumpkin but families sure can suck. The thing is though, you don’t have to interact with them. Why put yourself through that shit? Seems like you’d have a better time giving it a pass. If you’re determined to be a masochist and suffer through I hope it goes as smoothly as possible.

What a cutie! That’s some serious floofs! I hope you don’t have a cloth couch...

I’m gonna have to steal ‘wigged on the nip’ Weeze.

Sorry to hear that Del, that eats a hot mess of butts.