Hehe *Gasps in shock*

I respect his video game choices, when it first came out I actually grew a beard I was so enraptured. Which looked crazy cause it grows in calico. Tell him he can increase his base stats when he levels up, or maybe leverage the fact you have a helpful tip into getting dinner.

I haven’t talked to my mom in years, thank sweet merciful god but I majorly empathize with mom troubles. Good luck Ben, hope it goes as smoothly as possible. I kind of wish I could set myself on autopilot for the holidays then just like wake up mid January.

Much allergy commiseration Coffee. I’m allergic to evergreen trees so I’m basically just constantly leaking out of all my face holes around this time of year.

I do these sweet apple hush puppies with a pineapple rum sauce that usually kills. Was borne of me utterly fucking up a French apple tart.

I just butchered my hog today but I don’t know which parts of him I’m gonna use. My fam isn’t big on turkey. I know I’ll make my spicy grapefruit cranberry sauce and probably some stuffing muffins. I need to do my grocery list soon or at least start it or I’ll end up puttering around aimlessly and get shit I don’t…

It’s not something anyone can deal with effectively. Just feel your grief and do what you can with the time you have left. A spouse dying is one of the most traumatic things I can imagine and I’m really sorry you’re having to go through it. *All the hugs*

You’re very smart. Also yes,

Appreciate the illumination.

It’s a terrible show, I’ve been subjected to it occasionally and it comes off like if Always Sunny took itself seriously and they do all the narcissistic shitty stuff to each other like it’s normal. Every scene I’ve witnessed I prayed every character got pulped into a fine pink mist by a runaway bus.

I’d rather lick a newly born giraffe clean while dipping my penis into a vat of Tabasco and having Africanized bees funneled into my asshole than watch any amount of Big Bang Theory. Why did you do that to yourself?

Pretty sure those are the state words Goddess.

I get the margarita Pam, but why not take the fajita?! I may have fat guy priorities.

Cracks me up when people preface racist shit with ‘I don’t mean/want to sound racist but...’. But you’re about to power through right?

What’s a SIL Zee? My guess was Saucy Inbred Leopard but I feel like I’m wrong.

I’m gonna say at 24 I was generally an idiot.

My wife has two people working for her who started dating a year ago, it went super hot and heavy real fast like marriage planning and shit, but they broke up a month ago and they’re driving her nuts. Think she’d rather try and shove a pound of margarine up a cat’s ass with a hot awl then have them on her team…

Delivered in a calligraphic letter on the finest vellum by a kindly English butler? ‘The Lady expects you in her bedchamber posthaste Ser’.

I particularly enjoyed last weekend when my wife said ‘Honey put the dogs away and get over here, let’s get weird’. Fuck they’re all silly, she said she wanted to blow a hot creamy nut of gooey waz on my face I’d count myself lucky for having sexy times with a beautiful woman and that would be that.

Like calling your partner your ‘lover’. Like Liz Lemon says, that word bums me out unless it’s between meat and pizza.