My second thought was like clutching my pack in my hands then dropping to my knees and giving a Darth Vader-esque NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

My wife started playing it a couple weeks after launch. She loves LOZ and has played them all (except those fuck-goof CD-i ones). Having heard such positive things about it I decided to watch her play, I’m not a huge Zelda fan myself but it seemed like a break from tradition and I like watching good games. After…

I Just got through the first maid scene with Kawakami last night and the whole ‘other services’ thing. Then read that her last perk is a ‘special massage’. Was a little shocked my teacher is heavily implied to be moonlighting as a sex worker.

Wait I thought it was a video game sequel to Water World!?!?

That literally happened to me yesterday. I was waiting outside a restaurant for my wife to finish up in the can and this younger 20 something comes up and says ‘you know smoking is like really bad for you?’. I’m like well here I was thinking I was puffing on a vitamin and probiotics health tube, that’s not the case!?!?

I believe it’s Pegasus jizz and currant flavored?

Makes me think of that episode of 30 Rock with Sad Thad the Skin Tag lad, tries to pay Liz a million to take his virginity and when she tries he freaks and says ‘What are you some kind of sex monster!?’.

My sister had mad nerves right before, for such a small woman the sheer quantity of vomit she expelled was frankly astounding. Why I’m the only one without a tie in all the pictures...

I’m working on it, I’d like to think everyone is capable of growth. Good talk.

Frappucinos are basically milkshakes with more sugar

Sweet Christmas I think this is the most replies to a relatively innocuous comment I’ve ever seen. Boy did everyone jump up your asshole

It’s not unicorn cum?

I tried sacrificing goats but it gave me the shits.

Makes me happy that our community can be compassionate and not just threaten to rape and murder women.

What did you do to engender such threats!?!?

Well Clem we disagree but that happens. More white people have been on death row, although it’s a slim margin. America is capitalism, if you’re poor do something about it (I left my foster parents when I was 13 and was homeless for a long time so I grasp the concept of poverty). Hope you have a swell day Clem, my…

What do you know of fear?

Oh he’ll go elsewhere! I have plans to use his jowels to upholster my toilet seats. Like old leather stuffed with adipose tissue so I can shit in his mouth and still pamper my butt. Like my grampy always said, vanquish evil by any means necessary, but take good care of your anus. What a wise man...

If any thoughts about a cleansing flame pop in your head try to ignore them, at least until the work day is over.

Well what’s your pinnacle of an attractive male celebrity? I’m a Timothy Olyphant guy myself, Jeffrey Donovan is a close second.