Hehe, don’t know that Ive been in a scenario where I had to choose between buying a Pepsi or getting a blowy-j, maybe it’s more common than I thought...

Damn you Apple for making those big delicious throbbing wieners so readily accessible!!!

Yea I even replied to myself, forgot the famicom for a second

Ah, Super Famicom.

That was my thought too, believe two were lavender and the other two were dark purple

That sounds more reasonable, although now I’m deep in a wikipedia K-hole about lumbar plexus nerves.

I cannot imagine the utter sadness and defeat of meeting a guy you like and he just has a completely fucked weird cock, like what are you supposed to do if it looks like an old piece of bacon with a beak. I mean bail but how can you do it even vaguely politely?

Pam, I’ve been hammering screwdrivers and dicking around online tonight as I’m without my spawn for the evening. You’re points are salient and I concur with you. I was inspired by your classiness and went with a porous limestone they would incorporate the blood yet still be easily cleaned and leave a lovely swirl…

For somebody so dark you should know it takes about three to five seconds of pressure to blood choke somebody. I like you’re vibe but stop trying to sound so dark and edgy. Kicking them in the genitals would be waaaaay more efficacious.

That sounds really sad. Having somebody in your life you care about and who cares about you is really great.

Rain pouring down blinding every hope he had, this pittering -pattering beating and smattering drove him mad

It’s not weird to laugh at the ‘you guys go on ahead without me, I’m going to wait here with my back turned in a room full of machetes and scalpels with resides an ottoman upholstered with human skin’ people.

Every time I’ve witnessed it (it’s been done to my wife multiple times in my presence and my friends) it just makes the woman feel immeasurably uncomfortable, its 99% of the time not the the attention they want. It’s so bad, sloppy horny disaster.

Apparently he thinks that women at bars are like cats in heat waiting for a barbed cock, and they just attract them waving their tails\assholes and males of the species come running. I’m 28 and have been with my spouse for ten years, never dated as an ‘adult’ and even I know that’s not how shit works. My gender has…

Fuck, bought you shine as a first drink, that’s bold, in a creepy way.

Wonder what would happen if you just googled Michael Keaton jerking off....I’d hope at least a few really bad Photoshop jobs.

I’m a fan! Pepsi should snap you up fast, think they need the help. I loved your post!

Meeting your SO’s extended family is stressful as fuck, you’re basically getting silently judged by a bunch of fairly important strangers. If he has social anxiety in addition to that I can only imagine the bricks he was shitting. I’m sure you he were fine, wouldn’t stress it that much.

The St. Louis WGLBPLHAHSMAAJASBWTSANAW&E. Has a nice ring to it.

Ritual animal sacrifice and probiotics.