Yea personally couldn’t care less, it’s new Mass Effect. The characters could have Picasso faces and talk by aggressively spraying chili in your chosen Ryder’s face and I’m still way into it.

Personally I could give less of a shit, they could slowly shoot hotdogs out of their mouth during dialogue and and I’ll be getting it instantly regardless.

As an incredibly oily human being I loved them, everyone in the galaxy has the same potential for spontaneous breakouts.

So technically it wasn’t ‘in front’ of my parents but I think it’s still applicable. My now-wife and I were watching my parents loft for the weekend, it’s a really nice place so it was kind of a little vacation for us. Saturday afternoon I needed to borrow one of my dad’s shirts for whatever reason. They’d recently…

That’s almost the ‘Well I didn’t make the bed cause it’s just gonna get messy again tonight’. Except his was actively much more terrible and paranoid. Sorry you had to deal with that. Such baffling logic/manipulation.

My best friend OD’d on heroin the first year I was away at school. When his mom called me in the middle of the night I played ignorant cause I didn’t figure anything was super wrong and we’d always covered for one another. He died that morning. Now today my niece came over (I was very high on marijuana drugs, had I…

No I’m sorry you’ve passed the right month limit, I’m afraid you’re home will be ransacked and you’ll be taken to a camp for improper grief expression. Hehe, glad you got divorced, hope shit gets better.

I don’t know how a guy gets off to a nude celebrity pic. It’s like you’ve lost all touch with reality and yea any day now Emma Watson is going to be drawn to the sheer feverish intensity of your masturbating and stay with you forever.

Just for my own edification what are the other two?

I think if you’re a celebrity and you don’t want your nude photos shared online but still want them taken. Take them with a disposable camera (do they still exist), then throw the aforementioned camera into a fire.

*Confetti Explosion*

Cause the vast majority of perverts are men.

I call it Hulkamania: the Humpening

I’m inclined to say that’s horseshit that the guys who got assaulted were more disposed to CONFRONT their assailant. I can’t imagine how much male on male sexual assault goes unreported, this whole fucked intra-male power dynamic. I wasn’t meaning to be confrontational, just ex-army and I saw some shitty stuff between…

Are you a character from Dune? That would be super dope.

Can’t we all just get along? *Rides down a beach on his transsexual unicorn Daphne while throwing weaponized koalas at strangers and cackling madly*

Those monsters! I’ll gut them and fashion their bones into a semblance of a toilet then resurrect their souls so they can plop their ghastly shits into a mockery of their former selves. Too much?

Well I mean the Cubs won the World Series so maybe there’s a possibility that the Browns won’t entirely trip over their own cocks all year.

Okay everybody I think it’s time to get this stuff together, okay, 3-2-1 let’s jam! Yea we’re transitioning into old nerds now, it’s weird, kinda like it though.

Hehehehe, an ‘obnoxious bidet supporter’, you’re welcome to my next masked orgy at an abandoned castle, you’ll liven stuff up.