My boss (im assistant manager at a pet store), a sixty seven year old obese woman who has two replaced knees and subsists solely off Hardee’s and Taco Bell. Feeds the feral cats at this incredibly treacherous location by our local Amtrak station. Nightly. I’ve helped her before and it’s slippery as all hell in the…

Grout. Looked at my shower earlier this week and was like, ‘That needs re-grouting’. Hit me midway through Home Depot, ‘Fuck I was concerned, and am taking steps, to engage in a home-grouting procedure’. Adulthood achieved.

Hope it makes it more popular, I got these full sleeve tattoos of naked Estelle Getty and Bea Arthur and I have picked up zero chicks! I even have a small Betty White on my ankle with a butterfly tastefully covering her genitals.

Seriously, old fuck is like the Nazi Energizer Bunny. He’s been beaten within an inch of his life multiple times and a fellow inmate lit the guy on fire! Fucking immolated most of his torso and the bastard keeps on ticking.

Yea but I’d tear off a guy’s scrotum if he hid in a dumpster and hopped in my tank naked in the middle of the night

So much do I love that...

Yea Pence has gotta be toast too, personally he reviles me more than Trump.

I’ll be serving scale replicas of whale genitalia made in Jell-O and covered with gold leaf. Also hummus.

Don’t watch it, is takeout salad endemic to the program?

Incredibly partial to your use of ‘shitbiscut’. Is it a biscuit made of shit or is it like a breakfast sandwich with shit as the filling? Could I be totally off and it’s both made of, and filled with hot poops?

Fuck I thought it was with a K, been a while since I hit a Krystal. Just remember during my 2014 New Year’s road trip there was a spider web constructed around what I assume was a used condom in the restroom. Didn’t call in forensics. The DQ by my place has weird eulogy signs. RIP Marvin, and RIP Estelle for the past…

Hehehe, in what fucking universe is Dairy Queen more lowbrow than Hardee’s? I’ve yet to see the commercial with some vaguely ethnic gal rubbing a swirly cone on her tits while sitting in the back of a pick up! Let’s just say it was in a White Castle dumpster, or Crystal Burger, maybe Rally’s?

Hey that’s just my brand, Awkward Sexy Chic. All yours though, you succeeded in the challenge and earned it.

The fact they even felt the need to ask kind of hurts my soul. Well shit I’m agnostic so, hurts my heart and feeling guts.

I’m impressed, brava madam, brava *chorus round of applause*

Hmm, checks out. I kind of just want to make up fictive awkward clothing to see if you can match it to an appropriate climate now. Umm, leather long-sleeved halter top with tuxedo tails?

That was the most memorable moment of HBO’s Rome to me. The butt wiping stick.

Seriously it’s like we collectively can’t do anything original anymore, so many remakes, or re-imaginings. Like who the fuck wanted a ‘gritty’ Wizard of Oz? Next it’ll be a gritty reimagining of Winne the Pooh and it’ll be revealed the hundred acre wood was where Christopher Robin’s mind went when he was bootin’ black…

That was my thought too. In what climate is a sleeveless turtleneck appropriate? My neck is cold but my arms are too hot...

Like rats, don’t even try! Like they just walk in and jangle their cocks around like a hippo’s tail while it shits. Put it in the porcelain for Christ’s sake!!!