Well, that’s because he doesn’t.

This man is 42 and has now ended 196 years worth of World Series droughts. God damn...

Dicks out for Clark.

Well... who’d a thunk Cee-lo would’ve been one of the first people to send Theo a congratulatory message?

Some perspective on how historic this is:

Some say he’s still falling today...

My mother worked on Ted Kennedy’s 1980 presidential primary campaign to unseat Jimmy Carter. She said this was a joke around the campaign:

I think one thing Allen deserves a ton of credit for is he never stopped trying to get better. There are a lot of guys at the top of their craft who get complacent. That was not Allen. He is one of the best shooters of all time and never stopped trying to improve. That’s pretty cool.

This has to be the first time I’ve heard Chicago referenced as a Rust Belt city.

Please let Cleveland blow a 3-1 lead

Intereseting we never saw them both talking at the same time.

I hate that movie so, so very much.

Last time Bill was a part of a historical sporting event, Daffy Duck was there. Guess what happened then? Yeah, earth was saved

Sounded more like Sylvester the Cat to me:

I’m not sure if anyone heard about this other fun fact. But the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead in last year’s NBA Finals. (The Finals is the championship series in professional basketball.)

Be careful, Andrew. Touting yourself as a conservative Maverick is an easy way to get yourself linked to Sarah Palin forever.

Dallas Mavericks and former Golden State Warriors center Andrew Bogut’s political beliefs are exactly what you would expect them to be.

More like Andrew Bigot, amirite???

We have an electoral college, designed explicitly to ensure that the popular vote can be thwarted; we base those electoral college votes on states, rather than on population;

Yo momma so nasty, she keeps a separate email server for her side pieces