Knowing so many people who were born unwanted or grew up abused/neglected, the choice to *not* have children grow up in such an environment is a very beautiful and selfless concept.

I agree it's such a weird thing for commenters to get in a huff about.

Hey, Mark, I don't know if this post is still being moderated, but there're plenty of anti-choice assholes in the grays. It amazes me that people live in a fantasy land where all the unwanted babies get adopted and have wonderful lives and pregnancy is totes easy, NBD, really.

I just don't get the point of that argument anyway. For a given person to exist, two people need to have sex at the exact same time, and the pregnancy needs to survive, etc. There are an infinite number of things that could've prevented any of us from being born.

That implies there's a child. A zygot is not a child. Whether it is a life is debatable based on religious beliefs, but it's an insult to children to call a cluster of cells a child.

Thank you. This is why I get so annoyed with the whole 'you wouldn't be here if your mother had an abortion' argument. There are many people who wouldn't be here if their mother/grandmother/foremother did not have an abortion.

As someone who has been there, she's writing it to the idea of a child, not the individual cluster of cells.

It's fascinating to me that folks find this sentiment so unusual, since I had the exact same thoughts and internal monologue before my abortion. I remember saying to the fetus "Not yet, not ready for you yet."

I trade the entire life of every one of my ova on a monthly basis by not having unprotected sex with my husband. Poor little unfertilized angels. You're right - we should start rawdogging it so I can make fetuses that the millions of loving infertile couples can bid on. Good thing we're both white!

Even if we assume that her overall feelings and pregnancy symptoms will be different next time because of the genes of the zygote, there's no way to test the truth of that - it's more likely that pregnancy will feel the same for her so all her experiences of the two fetuses will be indistinguishable from each other.

I heartily disagree. Despite genetics producing different end results, most fetuses just look the same as each other and produce comparable symptoms. What she's feeling now as a pregnant woman will probably be indistinguishable from what she feels next time she's pregnant.

"Dear Load: what's it like in there? I only get to visit. Sorry about the eviction notice, but you'd have been a screaming bundle of hell, and no matter how insanely we love you already, there's no way we could make that work right now. Anyway, this is probably better for all of us than you writing a shocking tell-all…

I had a miscarriage this week. Somehow that makes this even more beautiful. Painful, as I'm jealous you get to make that choice when I did not, but beautiful. Many virtual hugs and tears for you, h. You are brave and wise and I am so happy you have the strength and courage to make your own path. When and if the time…

The only downside is I have very high food standards. I cook everything from scratch, laugh at the notion of frozen foods, and I only like a handful of restaurants. She spoiled me for life. Meanwhile, my husband was raised with frozen food and cup noodles and will gladly eat anything.

If my mother didn't have an abortion, I wouldn't exist.

That's me too.

THE HARM comes when ASSHOLES make it illegal to GET an abortion, dumbass.

This is kind of how I feel about my decision to not have children. I would love to want to have children, but I'm not willing to make the kind of sacrifices that are necessary to be even a half decent mom.

God, what can you say? I can't do anything but give this woman a standing ovation. Wherever you are, I wish you the best.

That was beautiful and heartbreaking and absolutely worth reading. I applaud this young lady for knowing what is best for her and stating it so clearly without apologizing for her decision.