Biggest, fakiest bit of humble brag ever.

Bradley Cooper sounds like the Swedish Chef.

I hear unicorn kidneys fetch, like, a couple mil, on the black market.

You're hilarious. I'm not focussing on it to the exclusion of all other issues necessarily; it just struck me as beautiful.

I love, love, love that scarf she has around her neck in the above photo. Anyone know where it's from?

When I saw Taylor Swift with that dress and hairstyle, all I could do is shed a little tear and sob, "Little Tay Tay, all grown up!"

Now if we could just get Whoopi's ass canned from that show, it might be half decent!

I feel so badly for you! I was the exact opposite—my daughter drank a ton of milk (thank God) but I was lactating enough for triplets (seriously). If she skipped a feeding or wasn't as hungry as usual, I would get a breast infection/mastitis from the backed up milk. I usually pumped after every nursing for about…

Yes, I agree with you totally. My sarcasm apparently did not transmit properly.

Because, you know, Second Amendment.

You got me there.

50% pseudo-eccentric homage to Hunter Thompson, 50% insecurity over receding hairline

With both portraits, the first thing I notice, is that not only is the skin tone dramatically lighter, but also that the nose, eyes, chin, cheeks and hair are way off.

One was dopey; the other was dope.

Yeah, I was watching the whole thing and the point of this article completely escaped me at the time (as I was sitting there with my 13 year old daughter)! I was so fixated on how ugly her dress was, how bad her dancing was, and that it actually looked like she was rubbing her ass on his leg.

Interestingly enough Rand Paul supports only reduced penalties for marijuana convictions, but NOT legalization, which puts him at odds with many other Libertarian candidates on this issue (including his dad).

I'm waiting for Rand Paul to come out in favor of free heroin. Or at least legalized, market-rate heroin.

I want this guy to get tied up in a chair and be forced to watch someone take a shit, wipe, not wash their hands and then make a ham sandwich, and then get that sandwich stuffed in his mouth.

Once again, just about everyone here is conflating religion and God. Not all religions mandate theism, and not all religious folks believe in some sort of white bearded dude in the sky, a la Monty Python.

Yes, please, I agree with you so much! And I fervently hope there is no reality TV programming associated with anything that may be going on here, but the pit in the bottom of my stomach tells me that probably isn't so.