this video brings so much joy to my life

This old video was shot in the present and features the Future. #mindblown

I went to a strip club with my buddies the night before Thanksgiving, got home wasted at about 2 AM and slid into bed and the wife asked “where have you been?” (I decided at this point to be honest for the first time in my life when asked a question of this ilk) I confidently said “honey, I went to strip club...” She…

We tried to have family reunions around Thanksgiving time in my family. After the 3rd one we gave up. The family kind of split into two branches from my Grandmother’s generation. She got out of the backwater town she was raised in and ended up with 2 Master degrees and some pretty serious art history and literary…

Take it from a former professor. Nobody reads the syllabus.

Oh, I went to a sibling’s in-laws. Mother didn’t believe in Turkey. She made a ham. Because we were there, she relented and provided a plate of cold smoked turkey she had bought at the store. No stuffing or mashed potatoes either. Lasagna and ham, green beans and corn bread. And we had to watch the Dallas Cowboys…

“God, why do they even call them the Fighting Irish any more? It’s just a bunch of blacks!”

Sometimes what doesnt kill you probably should have just killed you.

Not so much a disaster, but a shitty situation. Senior year of college and my digital signal processing professor says that we are going to have an exam the Wednesday evening before thanksgiving (the class was 5-6:20 with lab immediately after from 6:30-7:20). My flight, which was booked months in advance, was to take…

My mom made “make ahead” gravy. She asked my dad to get it out of the freezer. He is color blind. Unfortunately, he had thrown out the gravy when cleaning out the freezer and thought instead that the frozen tomato meat sauce was the gravy. He defrosted it in its case and people didn’t notice until about 10 minutes…

Are we allowed to like any ESPN personalities on this blog? SVP is ok right?

Watch me whip, watch me meme

He’s not mad, he’s actually laughing about the whole thing. It sounds like the reporters are mad, not him. He’s not mad.

13.) Ignore doing your real job in order to make jokes on Deadspin.

Seriously, this. You could also include

The thing I like about rich people the most is that they are actually better than everyone else.

I’m always amazed that more rich dudes like this don’t check out of their careers and then just fuck off to do whatever they want. To me that’s the whole point of being rich.

He is way over-complicating things. There are two easy steps.

i thought you said they were brothers. they look latino to me.