I love you, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer!

I have stared into the abyss of infinite breadsticks and been driven insane by the sheer magnitude of it. I am frozen in awe of my knowledge of forever.

I am SHOCKED AND APPALLED that a place called "Johnny Garlic" was not the height of culinary sophistication!

I found the Super Cat bit annoying because it didn't seem to fit the song or serve any purpose. I would put it on the same level as KRS-One's contribution to "Radio Song" from REM's Out of Time. Completely superfluous and seemingly shoe-horned into a pop song where it didn't belong and added nothing of value. …

So apparently there was a regional thing where different versions of "Fly" played on the radio depending on where you were located in the country. I was in college in Texas at the time, and the version of fly that was on the radio featured some vaguely Jamaican-sounding guy playing hype man to Mark McGrath during the…

The last novel I read was at the recommendation of ten million people in my life that I now hate with a passion, because they all apparently think I have terrible taste. I have mentioned this elsewhere recently since the movie is coming out soon, but people have been telling me for a few years now that I absolutely…

Yesterday I was looking on Offer Up, and I found a lady selling a women's mountain bike. We just moved into an area that has an extensive network of trails that we can literally access from our front yard. I have been trying to get my wife to buy a bike so that we can get out with the baby (I have a bike and a seat…

When my wife was preggo, I perfected crock pot pulled pork and shredded beef. My wife needed protein for taking to work with her, so I would do that on a Sunday and then use the leftovers for her to take to work for sandwiches during the week.

Fish. I have been grilling a shitload of fish trying to eat better around the house and do less takeout. Salmon, tilapia, halibut, and then shrimp and crab. I have always been pretty leery of cooking fish for fear that it will be undercooked and I'll get super sick, but I have mostly moved past that. I found a…

Cats with guns are EXTRA murderous.

Why you little!

I am with you. I am from Austin, so that song got played ad nauseum here. I dated a girl in college who owned that album only for the song "Pepper." She had no idea who the band was or their history.

That's far too attractive to be Billy Joel.

[FRATS]

He looks like the Pale Man from Pan's Labyrinth.

I sat in a screening of this film with my wife, my in-laws, and an entire theater of probably Baby Boomer-aged or older audience members. When the film cut to black after Tommy Lee Jones' speech, there was a brief silence, then an audible groan from many filmgoers, followed by laughter and much commentary of how…

Rick Perry still laments the time that the Texas A&M library burned down. Both books were lost, including the one that didn't have all the pictures colored in already!

Did you go to Mizzou?

You hear that, @kirk_cameron_left_me_behind:disqus?! You did this! You and your farts!

I actually did. I found my small enclave of Grateful Dead-listening hippies and tried as much as possible to avoid the redneck horde. I was sometimes successful.