Well, then, it would be more productive to stick to random escort services, where the exchange is not only acceptable, but actually expected. Picking somebody who isn’t in the sex trade to, you know, trade something for sex is less of a transaction and more of a demonstration of position.

First Take a Bunch of Painkillers

So this fucking guy invited truckers and Mack executives to the White House to talk about healthcare. Because if anyone knows about healthcare it’s the guys who live off of truckstop potato skins, Mountain Dew, energy pills, 5 Hour Energy, and scour parking lots looking for a toothless Lot Lizard blowjob.

But he says what common people are thinking!*

You should see his attempt to be President.

He has no better idea how to drive that truck than how to drive a normal car, ride a bike, or pay a bill.

Gotta give them credit for showing their cards here and trusting Gottlieb not to steal them.

The reason I know god doesn’t exist is because a sinkhole hasn’t opened up underneath the Baylor campus and swallowed everyone who willingly associates with that trash school.

I ungreyed you. (Call me.)

I’ll be shocked if “You got your sports from ESPN.com” doesn’t end up in a “23 Signs You’re an Aughties Kid” listicle on buzzfeed in 2020.

They replaced them with ombudswomen. Quiet, complacent ombudswomen. 

Remember when people read stuff on ESPN.com?

Remember when Poynter acted as ombudsman for ESPN?

Especially because Jackson badmouthed the fuck out of Jerry Krause after Krause pushed Doug Collins to hire Phil as an AC, promoted him to HC after Collins was fired, drafted Pippen, got players like Cartwright and Armstrong for 3 titles, and then rebuilt the team around Jordan and Pippen with guys like Kukoc and…

Taft was down to 244 pounds towards the end of his life, thanks to serious life changes and a walking regimen; the bridge over Rock Creek that was part of his favorite walk was later renamed the Taft Bridge.

One of the annoying things about our system is that the President is both Head of State and Head of the Government. In many other countries, this role is split, where the Head of State does the ceremonial stuff and the Head of Government does the real work. (Queen of England/Prime Minister)

I was disappointed in Tim…

Steve Bannon looks like a beanbag chair with a coke problem.

Steve Bannon looks like he discovered freebasing discount gin.

Read: “I first learned of him this morning, when an aide gave me a list of Famous American Blacks.”

This is the 4th grade answer to “what are Frederick Douglass’ most notable contributions to US history?” when your 4th grader didn’t read the chapter and doesn’t have even the foggiest idea of who he was, where he was or what he did