It only works if the joke goes beyond ref cosplay! Wear sunglasses! A white cane with a red top! A damn money bag or some dumb shit.

Imagine if this was Mayock spouting off racial slurs at Brown. 

This is quite a coup on the part of the Texans. It’s almost impossible to trade away a guy with a name like “Jadeveon Clowney” and get a better name in return, but “Barkevious Mingo” definitely fills that void. That’s at least a top 50 all time NFL name. For a linebacker, it’s practically onomatopoeia.

I’m glad you’re not in charge of the accounting department. 

I wish you knew how embarrassing this is for you.

I think there is a way to thread this needle without throwing around words like “quitter” and “idiotic”

Dearest Mother,

It’s almost like this site posts shit that’s absolutely wrong and even contradicts things they’ve posted previously, just to stir up shit. And it works. Some dip in the comments has already called it racist. 

I get asked is how much did I charge for <blank> service. People want to know your “worth” so they can decide where you belong.

Fueled by five or six 20-ounce cups a day from the Kuerig coffee maker that is an arm’s length from his desk,

I’d like to see the language of the actual policy, because that memo is pretty vague and doesn’t stipulate that it has to be from an accredited university. There are online degree mills that will probably give him “credit for prior learning” or “credit for life experience” for half of the required credits, cash a…

He should enroll at the University of Phoenix because there is a 14% chance that the lottery picks he represents will end up there too.

I look forward to seeing him picked by the Giants in the first round of the 2020 draft.

Did you ever try to line up against Champ, point across the field and yell, “HEY, WHAT’S THAT??? just before the snap?

That makes a lot of sense - if there’s one guy who has a hard time getting himself on SportsCenter, it’s LeBron James. 

He’s been giving him boxing lesson since he was in utero

Dana White and their match making is what caused me to stop watching a few years ago. They ruined the sport that they worked so hard to develop. 

Smart move on his part. Clearly lays the grounds for an insanity plea later on.

anyone going stroke for stroke with john holmes is going to have a long day

Just pay for the beer next time, man.