To everyone talking about karma or in any way suggesting this isn’t a terrible thing:

Aren’t these things almost always previously undiagnosed heart conditions though? We’d probably off a few of the fatter coaches, but if any of them had the same conditions these poor kid have they wouldn’t have made it to their 50s.

This terrible take explains how you went from playing in the NFL to being a lowly Deadspin commenter.

Yes, clearly 50 year olds should be in the same physical shape as the premier athletes they’re coaching.

I think punters should have to do every single offensive line drill and be the practice running back for the defense. I bet you’d see a lot less out of shape punters pretending to be athletes then.

He’s also my favorite color.

This kid is completely fucking overrated. The Twins are wise to pass on him, as would be the Reds. And Padres. And Rays.

My guess is because there’s two of them and one of him? Maybe don’t want the other being jealous is all I can think of.

Terrifying arsenal? Seriously? You lose credibility with statements like this. He had what looks like two pistols, a rifle, and about 100 rounds of ammunition. Can we please stop with the ridiculous hyperbole?

You wasted your time. The Braves don’t play at Turner Field.

Brandon Phillips is #4 on the list. Must not be in Cincinnati

“they gave”? You think the challenger can’t pick his shoes?

Yes! This counts as two goals for Sweden.

Have you ever watched a sport in your life?

Never thought I would say this, but please return to expressing yourself thru gif’s and meme’s.

please tell me that’s not a serious question

excuse me, sir EXCUSE ME, have you heard about [school i attended or am a fan of]?

If a ballplayer goes 5 for 5 with 4 homers and 10 runs batted in while wearing camouflage making it impossible for both the opposition and the crowd in attendance to see him did it really happen?

This has got to really piss Brandon Phillips off.

Wow, he really had to go and hit four homers? He’s really rubbing Brandon Phillips’s face in it.