And I am certain that--when called to account for your own bravado, so fiercely displayed in a comment section appended to a Deadspin article--you will perform with style, panache, and not the first ounce of licentious libation in your veins.

May we all be so pure of heart and fierce of conviction as you, o keeper of…

You’re the baddest motherfuckers in your mother’s basement.

That was him Britishly ethering his drinking buddy.

So many good beers from Belgium, and the world embraces Stella....

Once Ronaldo retires, that can finally be true. Can you hear him masturbating furiously at the thought?

If Messi scored 9 freaking goals from the QF round to the Final of the Champions League (not to mention against 3 of the best teams in the world) there’d be an article twice as long as this one on his greatness after each round.

I’m starting to think that Real Madrid collectively pooped in his shower since that would justify this long lasting feud

BREAKING: Barcelona Stan thinks Real Madrid’s impressive accomplishment is not impressive

Who let you publish this? I know people like to have a go at you around here, but what the hell. You earned it this time.

Rex: [looks at one woman’s toes] “Are we in Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.”

He’s the Real Madrid of Deadspin

“You know what I like.”

Billy you really out-Billy’d yourself with this bloviating trash. I mean get a load of this fucking “sentence”:

I could read this passage forever and never understand what it meant:

This is 10,000 words of him simply saying that at least Barca plays the right way or something.

TFW you are a blatant Barca/Messi stan and realize that their primary rival is stealing all your moments.

“They won, but merely by being better, you know?”

I’m lost on this one. Real Madrid is great, but they didn’t like...defeat the game of soccer itself or something?

Bless your heart, Billy. You have a hate that only The Empire can appreciate.

Ah, Billy.