What the hell are you talking about? They’re talking about men with cancer and veterans who had their junk blown off in combat and other people who have been in disfiguring accidents. Not dudes who were injured by an attempted assault victim.

Mothers-in-law should be banned from ever discussing the reproductive systems of their daughters-in-law. I will vote for whoever makes this part of their platform.

Um what? Hitting another person repeatedly in the head is not a ‘teenager acting like a teenager.’

Get out of here with that Mary-worshipping papist bullshit.

“she should meet his insults with a cheery silence”

OT but last night I was at a restaurant that had this playing on a tv and I never ONCE thought it was airing for the first time today. Like in my mind all Law and Orders are like automatically in syndication from the moment of their creation.

There’s NO way this book wasn’t a massive “no such thing as bad publicity” troll. Or at least no way she didn’t expect some sort of backlash.

Ha, ha, yes. Some kids just have that.

Who the hell even uses miscegenation anymore?

“I’m just trying to make sure you’re not being harassed!” (As I stand outside the bathroom, waiting to harass you)

Selfie

Exactly. You want to make a movie about all the terrible shit Reagan did? HAVE AT IT. Dude was a criminal and an asshole. THERE’S PLENTY OF MATERIAL. But don’t make fun of him for having Alzheimers. In addition to being gross, it’s just kind of lazy.

How do you know when someone is a vegan?

No-one deserves to go out like that and all this will do is fuel the bigots' argument that Muslim parents are tyrants (when most Muslim parents I've known have been splendid souls). My own mother often used Islam as an excuse to deny us fun. You can imagine how I felt when I came across her photo in a book about…

women, we all look the same

If I ever decide to star in a porn, it will definitely because God willed it.

“Why is this night more miserable than all other nights?”

Toyota goes to the all you can eat sushi place and orders a steak.

Because this sandwich has “New York Values,” if you get my drift.

The hatred I feel for that couple in California is unhealthy. Like...no person should hate a human they have never met as much as I hate them.