If they were really being considerate, they would’ve released him while they were on the West Coast so that he could catch a plane to Hawaii and fix that glass door.

Modern metallurgy has also helped.

The tire explosion is Goodyear’s fault. If they hadn’t been unscrupulous, this would not have happened.

Ok, but there’s still the agreement not to eat Stu, right?

Why would you publish this???? He’s not a famous person and he’s clearly suffering from some sort of mental illness

But reflecting on all of this, I really do have to raise my glass for Pusha Thanos. He quietly collected all the infinity stones, then made a trap. And Captain Canada in his arrogance walked straight into it, and didn’t realize what was up until it was too late. And in doing so Pusha Thanos created enough name…

Its like smiling or nodding your head when you pass someone on a sidewalk somewhere (obviously not in a busy area). Maybe its the Texas in me, but that’s just neighborly.

I don’t really care enough to believe or disbelieve, but I do care enough to say that it’s shitty that he thinks he can keep her dead father’s guitar after they’ve divorced.

Imagine students barricaded in classrooms with no way to escape. The shooter is roaming the hallways. The only exit is the door to the hallway. If students tried to escape via the hallway, they could be greatly at risk.

Police later found an unloaded gun in his back pocket, and determined his BAC had been nearly five times over the legal limit. 

I love straws. I have sensitive teeth and they are really great for helping out with cold beverages.

Anyone who has spent any time working for a corporation can sympathize with Kevin Hunter. Not only does being right not get you any points with your bosses, it oftentimes can hurt your career because the very sight of your face reminds them of the time that they were wrong about something, and the manbabies who run…

It all comes down to societal purpose. See, if you haven’t had children yet, you haven’t fulfilled your sole and obvious purpose to bear life. So you can’t be allowed to make decisions about your all important uterus. But once you’ve given birth, you’ve done the only thing that actually matters, so it doesn’t really…

But also, if THAT weak-ass argument won the debate for her team, then the opposing team managed to be full of even bigger idiots.

Of course this shithorse drinks Bulleit, the homophobe’s whiskey of choice.

in many cases the ad play is considered to have registered even if someone hastily scrolled past or clicked away after a few seconds

The judge addressed Luke: “I want to tell you how proud I am of you for completing the program so fast, and it’s very impressive that you’re ready to go to college. … it sounds like things are going well for you, and we expect great things. … congratulations. You deserve a big round of applause.”

one of the values of sport is to level the playing field when someone is born with an advantage? so should Mike Trout have to play with a heavier bat than everyone else? should Messi have to play with weights tied to his ankles? should we just turn into Harrison Bergeron?

It’s an Olympic witch hunt is what it is, I tell ya.

More like Bradley Beal, Tony Parker, and the Parade All-American High School Player of the Year award winner.