Mad men is the most boring and depressing show, but those party horns actually make it watchable.

The only way its like empire strikes back is that its the middle movie in a trilogy. Its obviously going to end on a total downer just like empire.

NOPE! just way too old way too young. Thanks job.

My snatch has like three selfies on 4chan. I just wanted it out there....anonymously...so i wouldnt loose mah job. But its still like...floatin around...

Dont take what i said seriously. I had to drink vodka and eat a rotisserie chicken to crap today and now im drinking mojitos and i have Mexican thawing out so i can crap more later. Thats what happens when youre head costume designer for the Narnia play in your hood. You want to eat Brads E-Cig face and poop inbetween…

Brads face looks like a pancake now. I wanna pour Jolie on it, eat it and drink their crazy wine. I want that bradwinecake.

Sup bit coin hook me up with this dawg.

His face glows and i want to squish it. I want to squish it so bad. (i squish all that is cute)

His face glows and i want to squish it. I want to squish it so bad. (i squish all that is cute)

I love you because that sounds like me without cats. But not because i hate cats. I just cant afford to care for cats properly so i dont have them. Also im kind of afraid i'll get a retard cat and it'll choke on something in my sewing studio and i dont want tard cat ghosts where i work. Thats too creepy.

I love you because that sounds like me without cats. But not because i hate cats. I just cant afford to care for cats properly so i dont have them. Also im kind of afraid i'll get a retard cat and it'll choke on something in my sewing studio and i dont want tard cat ghosts where i work. Thats too creepy.

Its the new Duck Face.

Its the new Duck Face.

When i bleach my hair i bleach my brows. I get this.

Ugh i wanna say more about this because i think its so great. Im just too drunk right now at cocktail hour on my only free day from sewing costumes for the Narnia play im dressing up. This has been a panic attack since September. Why am i posting this! Goddammit Vodka and rotisserie chickens.

Ugh i wanna say more about this because i think its so great. Im just too drunk right now at cocktail hour on my only free day from sewing costumes for the Narnia play im dressing up. This has been a panic attack since September. Why am i posting this! Goddammit Vodka and rotisserie chickens.

Ugh i wanna say more about this because i think its so great. Im just too drunk right now at cocktail hour on my only free day from sewing costumes for the Narnia play im dressing up. This has been a panic attack since September. Why am i posting this! Goddammit Vodka and rotisserie chickens.

AHMAHGAD that story is amazing. Shes my best friend. She doesent know it yet but shes just my best friend. That Fulcer story just cemented it. She rules, me and my insane but lovable mother are not the only ones with shit stories and i want to tell Jlaw all of them, with my sturdy Viking birth giver over waffles.

This is the reason guys become so suspicious and jaded about women after they become successful.

I roll my own cigarettes like an old person because im a total cheapskate & i run out of papers all the time but i always have plugs for shark week.