This kind of pretending not to tell everyone how principled you are so that everyone fawns over how principled you are will play so well at PSU.

They haven't played a game and already have the best record in the Atlantic Division.

There is no way there is enough alcohol in North Korea for Vin Baker.

Now, all those players will be able to add moral bankruptcy to their financial bankruptcy.

"I'll have what she's having..."

Looks like David Cross.

What a difference a day can make:

Its nice to see post-lesbian Kelly McGillis got work on Sportcenter.

Gonzalez's been a pretty awful run blocker for a few seasons now, so I don't know what you're basing that off of.

They traveled.

This is like a PG version of that stupid knockout game.

The Chiefs parking lot also has shooting, but it's less fun than this.

Thankfully the weird pants were zubaz, and not some great, big, fat person.

I love the looks of pity from the guys getting posterized - "oh they're Bills fans; poor bastards, let 'em have this".

You don't seem to understand how jokes work.

Wow. For ages, better people than myself have tried to teach their fellow man not to judge a book by its cover, perpetuate stereotypes, or make snap judgments about others.
After reading your comment-specifically the part where you inform fellow Deadspinners that Die Hard 3 (hell, any of 'em, really) is better than…

Normally it's difficult to choose a favourite on a list like this, but this was an easy pick.

I said "Acting." He's not ready for the breakfast rush, not yet.

"Second Shift Waffle House Manager (Acting)"

"Krimson Steele? Great, now I need to come up with another fucking color for Zoolander 2."