Customers won't get their money's worth because the go karts are old and keep running out of gas.

Craig Ferguson will eat Jimmy Fallon for breakfast.

ESPN should make it up to Simmons by letting him interview Obama in a Presidential Inaugural podcast.

The Knicks have lost 4 games in a row. Gulp. Their last loss gave them their longest losing streak of the season. Yikes. Even Li'l Nate can't get them started. They're so lame right now that they caused a global economic meltdown.

"But something else soured local basketball fans, whether they knew or not. The NBA is America at its worst."

Should have been you, Philip Rivers.

Yeah the Sharks have points, but these days teams get points in the standings for merely making a good effort or showing sportsmanship.

Stay tuned for the next edition of Rick Chandler's "See, this is what all Red Sox fans are like!"

But ESPN told me only Mel Kiper has authority to pre-determine draft picks.

"Mr. Salisbury has been ordered to stay away from the Verizon sales representative."

This will be Joe Thomas' first game with a living NFL coach on the sidelines.

Who likes Asian transvestites?

@blogsarefun: That's what happens when you step away from the computer for 10 minutes before hitting Submit.

Those center ice seats are a *expletive* valuable thing, you don't just give them away for nothing.

Berman's "running out of steam on these fucking things".

I thought this bowl disbanded after the disgraceful Boise State-BC showdown, where the organizers and mayor turned the bowl banquet into a Boise State rally.

Hey Canseco, Vassily Ivanchuk's been hitting on your wife.

You mean they didn't get Stephon Marbury to guest host Mike'd Up?

@Karlifornia: But the clock icon placed next to the 4:50 pm really clears things up.

The Yankees try to add four elite starters, and the Mets try to add four elite closers.