Dwight Howard is the Who Farted? t-shirt of NBA players.

I don’t want to do this, but Dwight Howard’s resume is really impressive.

but Howard is a Hall of Famer

1/3? Just 33%? That’s way low.

Expect the first literal Stanley Cup hangover in NHL history.

As for Ovi, I’m pretty sure his blood is 1/3 Bud Light at this point

I mean other than the complete lack of public transportation, the 300+ days of summer (plus the 100+ days of super-sayan summer), the weekly industrial fire/explosion, and occasional devastating hurricane...it’s ok

“It’s not over yet. We still have a chance to come back and win it all.”

Cheering for the Warriors is like betting the Don’t Pass line in craps. You’re allowed to do it, but it means you’re an asshole.

Christ. First the Eagles, now the Caps. What other long-suffering fanbase is going to win next?

There is only one person who can refer to himself in the 3rd person and that’s The Nature Boy Ric Flair.

“Mr. President, on behalf of ABC, I’d like to apologize-”
“Well, you know, you’ve been very mean to-”
“FOR THESE NUTS ON YOUR CHIN!”
*Click*
“Hello? Hello? Jared! Jared! The phone did the thingie again. It’s not...No, it’s...It’s the fucking thing where it doesn’t have a voice at the other end! Fix it! I don’t know,…

I was honestly expecting a defense of Rosanne from this diaper scented stone fruit of a president.

They are due!

Yeah, next season they may have to be the Silver Knights.

They’re due!

That rancid smell coming from the west is about 400 Vegas Sports Book employees all collectively puking up their breakfast, before calling in sick to update their resumes.

I say you should only get to criticize the President if you graduated from a military academy and served 5 years overseas during the height of the Cold War but maybe my ideas are outdated.

Cavs in 3 4