You know... I don’t know how I didn’t come to that conclusion. Lol.

“Where’d you get unlimited hammers?”

I will never understand people’s apprehension with transgender people. It’s not like they try to convert you, they’re not coming to your doorstep with pamphlets. If someone else’s choice to be another gender, love another gender, or completely abstain from associating with a gender bothers you that deeply, what sort…

Wait... urban dictionary doesn’t have pickle smooch! You must tell me!

Awww.... that sounds so much like my mom. Except you’d have to replace cookies with crystals. My mom would totally give people crystals that were for specific issues they were having, and give them crystals for people they knew that she didn’t know that were in need... and she worked long hours specifically so my…

Well... it’s kind of ridiculous but not like, Human Centipede level shockingly gross. It’s more like something the cast of Jackass would ask for in bed.

I am sorry! I don’t even want to know how that came up at my mom’s job, or how any of them knew that, because *I* didn’t know it at the time.

Lol, no... wrong coast.

<3

I absolutely love South Park. You win the comments.

Eep. I figured the “awful/hilarious” descriptor would have suggested you ought not to look it up. Sorry for the eyebleach moment.

I have lurked for years, and only started posting about a month or so ago because I hit a rare bored patch. Within a week, I got a message from a friend asking if I was posting on gawker as MistsOfProvolone. I was so creeped out... but I guess it’s pointless for me to be mum about it anyway.

It’s not a bad thing. It’s why I love her so much. You’re not hopeless. You’re just pure of heart!

Additionally, my mom once asked me to tell her what “Arabian Goggles” were because all the other girls at work knew what it meant and wouldn’t tell her. It was one of the most awful/hilarious moments of my life.

Crap. I didn’t think of that.

My mom is adorably clueless, and like a tiny sprite of a human being. She also dresses kind of masculine, has a pixie cut and is full of tattoos. So bearing that in mind, once my family was on vacation in Vegas. One of the days we were there, we signed up for a tour of Red Rock Canyon. Our tour guide was awful for…

It doesn’t specifically say that, but that would be my hope too.

There is something about the beat that reminds me of Chrono Trigger...

Unrelated to your comment, I literally laughed out loud when I saw your username.

And that’s a fair point. I didn’t even consider that he might be that kind of awful, too.

Man, his secret boyfriend must be pretty fucking twisted if he read that and didn’t back away slowly with a look of horror on his face.

Oh my god.

I so wish I would have read this before we got married. That is AMAZING.

We did have our ceremony in a church, and before dinner my mom’s best friend said a prayer in Italian (she really wanted to be involved and this was the easiest way to do it)... and we did do a bouquet/garter toss (I don’t hate it, I kinda didn’t care either way). However, my preoccupation was with making it an epic…